Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  • Yang Yike
    University: East China Jiaotong University
    Nationality: Chinese
    April 22, 2020 at 9:23 am

    Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

    Some people argue that money invested in the arts is a waste because it should be used to develop public services. Although some projects related to arts have no significant contribution to our society, I tend to agree that spending more money on public services is necessary while the investment in arts should not be stoped.

    It is true that advances in public services have benefit citizens in many aspects. This is because people who live in modern society cannot leave them, including city transportation, electricity supplement, park construction and many more. If government pay more attention to constructing city infrastructure, citizens can benefit a lot; for example, workers are able to have less worry about road congestion on their way to work, people can enjoy more fluent data flow when they watch movies and other videos at home, and well-equipped parks allow them to relax themselves to do physical exercises and other outdoor activities.

    However, we cannot ignore the importance of arts and stop states investing money. Money invested in developing arts projects, such as sponsor arts teachers to develop their projects, construct art galleries and history museums, and offer scholarships to encourage students to create new films, plays a key role to improve citizens’ cultural acquisitions. Furthermore, many employments these days require creative writing and cultural aesthetics, if we stop investing money in arts projects, the younger generation will not be educated in a highly developed cultural environment and may negatively affect their future jobs.

    In conclusion, I think that public services need a large amount of investment to improve quality of life for all of us. However, I do not believe spending money on the arts is a waste of money as this too provides important benefits.

    April 22, 2020 at 4:50 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 70% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Yang Yike
    University: East China Jiaotong University
    Nationality: Chinese
    April 23, 2020 at 3:26 am

    These days, some people argue that government spending a part of its budget on arts is wasteful, and that money should be fully invested in developing public services. Although I agree that it is important to spend money on public services, I do not think spending on arts is a waste of money.

    There are several reasons for spending a significant amount of the government budget on public services. First and foremost, people who live in modern society cannot leave public services, including city transportation, electricity supplement, schools and hospitals, and it is true that advances in these things have benefited citizens in many aspects. For example, if government spends a larger amount of its budget on public transportation, workers are able to have less worry about road congestion on their way to work. Similarly, if more money spent on school construction, children may have more opportunities to receive education. Moreover, the poor in our society will be affected more if government does not spend enough on these things because they are more dependent on such services.

    However, we cannot completely neglect the importance of arts. To begin, it is difficult for many arts institutions, such as art galleries, history museums and theaters, to gain profits without the financial support from government. Furthermore, people need to watch films, artworks or musicals to entertain and inspire their creativity. Many employments these days require creative writing and a good taste of beauty. If government suspends its financial assistance in these institutions, the younger generation will not be educated in a highly developed cultural environment and may negatively affect their future jobs.

    In conclusion, there are clear benefits of ensuring a large amount of investments goes into public services. However, I do not believe that spending money on the arts is a waste of money as this also improves people’s life quality.

    Yang Yike
    University: East China Jiaotong University
    Nationality: Chinese
    April 23, 2020 at 4:02 am

    These days, some people argue that government spending a part of its budget on arts is wasteful, and that money should be fully invested in developing public services. Although I agree that it is important to spend money on public services, I do not think spending on arts is a waste of money.

    There are several reasons for spending a significant amount of the government budget on public services. First and foremost, people who live in modern society cannot leave public services, including city transportation, electricity supplement, schools and hospitals. It is true that advances in these things have benefited citizens in many aspects. For example, if government spends a larger amount of its budget on public transportation, commuters are able to have less worry about road congestion. Similarly, if more money spent on school construction, children may have more opportunities to receive education. Moreover, the poor in our society will be affected more if government does not spend enough on these things because they are more dependent on such services.

    However, we cannot completely neglect the importance of arts. To begin, it is difficult for many arts institutions, such as art galleries, history museums and theaters, to gain profits without the financial support from government. Furthermore, people need these institutions to entertain and inspire their creativity. Many employments these days require creative writing and a good taste of beauty. If government suspends its financial assistance in these institutions, the younger generation will not be educated in a highly developed cultural environment and may negatively affect their future jobs.

    In conclusion, there are clear benefits of ensuring a large amount of investments goes into public services. However, I do not believe that spending money on the arts is a waste of money as this also improves people’s life quality.

    April 29, 2020 at 8:42 pm

    Score: 49.2

    Suggestions:

    1. About 55% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. Many syntactic issues (i.e. that government spending a part of its budget on arts is wasteful, and that money should be fully invested in developing public services. — the 2 sentences need to be parallel in structure.)
    3. Replace vague adjective forms with concrete verbs. i.e. it is important– matters;  it is true that..
    4. Lots of repetitions; 
    5. Remove ALL There Be sentences that harm sentence coherence;

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

     

    Yang Yike
    University: East China Jiaotong University
    Nationality: Chinese
    April 30, 2020 at 4:13 am

    Some people these days argue that government spending a part of its budget on arts is wasteful. They think money should be fully invested in developing public services. Although I agree that it is important to spend money on public services, I do not think spending on arts is a waste of money.

    Spending a significant amount of the government budget on public services has several reasons. First and foremost, public services include roads, schools, hospitals, etc, and these things have benefited citizens in many aspects. For example, if government invests enough money in public transportation, commuters can have less worry about road congestion. Similarly, if more money is spent on schools, children may have more opportunities to receive education. Moreover, the poor are more dependent on public services. They have to rely on such services as most of them have no extra money except for maintaining their lives.

    However, we cannot completely neglect the importance of arts. It is difficult for art galleries or theaters to gain profits, so without financial support from government, many arts institutions have to close. Furthermore, people need these institutions to inspire their creativity. Many employments these days require creative writing and a good taste of beauty. The younger generation cannot get inspiration in a cultural environment and is consequently negatively affect their future jobs, provided that government suspends its financial assistance.

    In conclusion, a large amount of investments goes into public services can greatly improve people’s life quality. However, I do not believe that spending money on arts is a waste of money as this also provides many benefits.

    May 1, 2020 at 1:07 am

    Score: 53.3

    Issues:

    1. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts;
    2. Many sentences are redundant. Remove unnecessary words (i.e. these days; it is important; it is difficult) within a sentence;
    3. Restructure sentences to emphasize key information. I.E. First and foremost, public services include roads, schools, hospitals, etc, and these things have benefited citizens in many aspects. – in this sentence, key information relates to ‘public services’ and ‘have benefited,’ so emphasize such information.  Your writing highlights ‘ include…’.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Yang Yike
    University: East China Jiaotong University
    Nationality: Chinese
    May 3, 2020 at 3:11 pm

    Some people argue that government spending a part of its budget on arts is wasteful. They think money should be fully spent on developing public services. Although I agree that providing various public services costs much money, I do not think spending on arts is a waste of money.

    Spending a significant amount of the government budget on public services has several reasons. First and foremost, roads, schools, hospitals and other public services have benefited citizens in many aspects. For example, if government invests enough money in public transportation, commuters can have less worry about road congestion. Similarly, if spending more money on schools, children may have more opportunities to receive education. Moreover, the poor are more dependent on public services. They have to rely on such services as most of them have no extra money except for maintaining their lives.

    However, we cannot completely neglect the importance of arts. Art galleries or theaters are difficult to gain profit, so without financial support from government, many arts institutions have to close. Furthermore, people need these institutions to inspire their creativity. Many employments require creative writing and a good taste of beauty. The younger generation cannot get inspiration in a cultural environment and is consequently negatively affect their future jobs, provided that government suspends its financial assistance.

    In conclusion, a large amount of investments goes into public services can greatly improve people’s life quality. However, I do not believe that spending money on arts is a waste of money as this also provides many benefits.

    May 4, 2020 at 1:48 am

    Score: 50.8

    Issues:

    1. About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    2. The 1st paragraph primarily duplicates the topic in wording. Use your own words and reorganize the language.
    3. Avoid repeating words. I.e. budget.
    4. Learn to use the grammar of subjunctive voice sentences correctly. I.E. IF…..
    5. Use active verbs instead of BE verbs to make your argument stronger. I.E. The poor are more dependent on — the poor depend more on…
    6. Check logic flaws of each sentence. Many sentences are logically problematic. I.E. Art galleries or theaters are difficult to gain profit — running art galleries or theaters often generates little profit.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Yang Yike
    University: East China Jiaotong University
    Nationality: Chinese
    May 4, 2020 at 8:39 am

    Some people argue that the allocation of funds to the arts is wasteful. They think money should be entirely spent on developing public services. But in my opinion, the government should invest a large part of its budget not only in public services but also in the arts.

    Spending a significant amount of government funds on public services has several reasons. First and foremost, public services, such as roads, schools, and hospitals, have benefited citizens in many aspects. For example, if the government invests enough money in public transportation, commuters can have less worry about road congestion. Similarly, if more money is spent on schools, children may have more opportunities to receive education. Moreover, the poor depend more on public services. They have to rely on such services as most of them have no extra money except for maintaining their lives.

    However, we cannot completely ignore the importance of the artistic creation. Running art galleries or theaters often generates little profit, so without financial support from the government, many arts institutions have to close. Furthermore, people need these institutions to inspire their creativity. Many employments require creative writing and a good taste of beauty. Provided that the government suspends its financial assistance, the younger generation cannot get inspiration in a cultural environment and is consequently negatively affect their future jobs.

    In conclusion, a large amount of investments goes into public services can greatly improve people’s life quality. However, I do not believe that spending money on the arts is a waste of money as this also provides many benefits.