Governments should invest more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Governments should invest more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams.

  • Nick12138
    University: Guilin university of aerospace and industrial
    Nationality: china
    October 10, 2020 at 2:39 am

    Governments should invest more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams.

    As we all know, the governments are responsible for their people providing the support of the arts and athletics. But now, there is a question whether governments should invest more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics. Frankly, I believe the governments should spend more money on arts, because not only could arts help us to realize beauty in our life, but it also broadens our knowledge scope.

    Firstly, it is undeniable that art plays an indispensable role in human life. The stable beautiful building structure is presented with art, a wonderful painting is filled with artistic ideas. Artistic minds make human society more brilliant, the evolution of human society cannot go without art. There is a classic example in it. When Newton was hit by the drop apple, he found the gravity of the earth with his artistic eyes. What a great discovery. Thus, art has its Irreplaceable effects on human society.

    Secondly, arts have positive guidance on academic progress. Evidently, some discoveries of the physics field are inspired by the arts. To some extent, if arts are combined with other disciplines, some extraordinary things will be found possibly. For instance, Einstein came up with the theory of relativity before, the art of time and space in his mind. An unprecedented idea both in the mixture of arts and science.

    Admittedly, if governments spend more money to support the development of athletics, it will do good to citizenship’s health, it shows the attitude of the government that citizens are encouraged to take more energy and income from sports. However, governments have spent enough money on athletics and cause plenty of waste. We believe that the money used to support the arts will be more valuable.

    In conclusion, it is worth it that governments spend more money in support of the arts. And human society and academic achievement will have a better future.

    October 10, 2020 at 7:39 pm

    As we all know[  redundant ], the[  article error ] governments are responsible for their people (providing the support of the arts and athletics)[logical confusion   ]. But now, there is a question [  preposition error ]whether governments should invest more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics[ duplicate the prompt  ]. Frankly[redundant   ], I believe the governments should (spend more money)[ repetition  ] on arts, because not only could arts help us to realize [ article error  ]beauty in our life, (but it also)[word order error   ] broadens[ grammatical error  ] our knowledge scope.

    Firstly, it is undeniable that art plays an indispensable role in human life. The stable beautiful building structure is presented with art, a wonderful painting is filled with artistic ideas. Artistic minds make human society more brilliant, the evolution of human society cannot go without art. There is a classic example in it. When Newton was hit by the drop apple, he found the gravity of the earth with his artistic eyes. What a great discovery. Thus, art has its Irreplaceable effects on human society.

    Secondly, arts have positive guidance on academic progress. Evidently, some discoveries of the physics field are inspired by the arts. To some extent, if arts are combined with other disciplines, some extraordinary things will be found possibly. For instance, Einstein came up with the theory of relativity before, the art of time and space in his mind. An unprecedented idea both in the mixture of arts and science.

    Admittedly, if governments spend more money to support the development of athletics, it will do good to citizenship’s health, it shows the attitude of the government that citizens are encouraged to take more energy and income from sports. However, governments have spent enough money on athletics and cause plenty of waste. We believe that the money used to support the arts will be more valuable.

    In conclusion, it is worth it that governments spend more money in support of the arts. And human society and academic achievement will have a better future.

    October 10, 2020 at 7:43 pm

    Partial revision [remove the same/similar errors in your essay.]

    October 10, 2020 at 7:45 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 30% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Nick12138
    University: Guilin university of aerospace and industrial
    Nationality: china
    October 11, 2020 at 3:46 am

    The government pays increasingly concentration in arts and athletics. But now, there is a question about whether governments should invest more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics. Frankly, I believe the governments should spend more money on arts, because arts help us realize the beauty in our lives , broaden our knowledge scope.

    Firstly, it is undeniable that art plays an indispensable role in human life. The stable, beautiful building structure is presented with art, and the wonderful painting is filled with artistic ideas. Artistic minds make human society more brilliant. the evolution of human society cannot go without art. There is a classic example in it. When Newton was hit by the drop apple, he found the earth’s gravity with his artistic eyes. What a great discovery. Thus, art has its Irreplaceable effects on human society.

    Secondly, arts have positive guidance on academic progress. some discoveries of the physics field are inspired by the arts. To some extent, if arts are combined with other disciplines, some extraordinary things will be found possibly. For instance, Einstein came up with relativity theory before, the art of time and space in his mind. An unprecedented idea both in the mixture of arts and science.

    Admittedly, suppose governments spend more money to support the development of athletics; In that case, it will do good to citizenship’s health, it shows the attitude of the government that citizens are encouraged to take more energy and income from sports. However, governments have spent enough money on athletics and cause plenty of waste. We believe that the money used to support the arts will be more valuable.

    In conclusion, it is worth it that governments spend more money in support of the arts. And human society and academic achievement will have a better future.

    October 12, 2020 at 8:39 pm

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