Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

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  • ShippersForMe Participant
    EmmaMENG
    University: UCBL
    Nationality: Chinese
    April 21, 2021 at 12:11 pm

    Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    In recent years, there is a heated statement that the arts need more financial support from government than sports. From where I stand, I totally disagree with this opinion.

    First of all, sports is needed in our daily life. Doing sports is one of the best ways to have a healthy body. From this aspect, supporting our Olympic teams can promote different kinds of sports and in order to make people have more interest in doing sports. For example, table tennis is really popular in China. Almost everyone has watched matches of table tennis and played it once. This phenomenon is not only because of the attraction of the sport itself, but also because that the good results that our team made during the Olympic Games stimulate our passion in this sport. In some ways, the financial support of some Olympic teams can inspire people’s enthusiasm in doing sports. However, the support of the arts does not have such an obvious effect because for most people, the arts is not necessary in their daily life and it is difficult for them to get access to the arts.

    Secondly, although the arts need a large amount of investigation, it is hard to demonstrate that the investigation is worth or not. Most investigations in the arts do not have as much reward as expected. For example, several years ago, the prince of a country in Eastern Europe bought a painting which was thought to be a masterpiece of Da Vinci. He bought it at a really high price at that time. However, this painting was then recognized as a painting of Da Vinci’s student and only a part of the painting is painted by Da Vinci. This investigation is, of course, in vain. So the government could not always identify the valuable support. On the contrast, the support of sports can always make sense. The training is more effective with advanced facilities and the better coach.

    In conclusion, the support of the arts should not be higher than the support of athletics.

    TruckersForMe Participant
    Administrator
    April 22, 2021 at 2:20 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. About 15% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision );
    3. Lengthy paragraphs; restrict each paragraph to 90 words.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    ShippersForMe Participant
    EmmaMENG
    University: UCBL
    Nationality: Chinese
    April 22, 2021 at 6:16 am

    Financial support from the government is important for all studies, arts, sciences, sports and so on. However, some people think the support in the arts should be more than in sports. From where I stand,I disagree with the opinion.

    First of all, sports are necessary in our daily life. Doing sports is one of the best ways to have a healthy body. From this aspect, supporting our Olympic teams can promote different kinds of sports and make people have more interest in doing sports. For example, table tennis is popular in China. Almost everyone has watched matches of table tennis and played it once. Although the sport itself has some attractions, the good results made by our national team in international competitions are another important reason for this phenomenon. In some way, the financial support of some Olympic teams can inspire people’s enthusiasm in doing sports. However, the investment of the arts does not have such a great effect because for most people, the arts are not necessary in their daily life and it is difficult for them to get access to the arts.

    Secondly, although the arts need a large amount of investigation, it is hard to demonstrate that the investment is worthy. Most investments in the arts do not have as much reward as expected. For example, the prince of a country have once bought a masterpiece of DaVinci at a high price which was then identified to be painted by one of DaVinci’s students. This investment is, of course, in vain. So the money spent on the arts sometimes is meaningless and the government could not always identify the rignt support. On the contrary, the support of sports can always make sense. The training is more effective with advanced facilities and better coaches.

    In conclusion, the support of the arts should not be higher than the support of athletics.

    TruckersForMe Participant
    Administrator
    April 23, 2021 at 1:02 am

    Financial support from the government is important for all studies, [ developments in ]arts, sciences, sports[ ., etc. ] and so on. However, some people think the support in[wrong preposition  ] the arts should be more than in sports[unclear  ]. From where I stand, I disagree with the[ this ] opinion.

    First of all, sports are necessary[word choice issue  ] in our daily life. Doing sports is one of the best ways to have a healthy body. From this aspect, supporting our Olympic teams can promote different kinds of sports and make people have more interest[ed  ] in doing sports. For example, table tennis is popular in China. Almost everyone has watched [Many Chinese watch  ]matches of table tennis and played[ play ] it once. Although the sport itself has some [ Despite the innate ]attractions [ of this sport ], the good results made by our [ the Chinese ]national team in international competitions are another important reason for this phenomenon[also facilitate this sport in China  ]. In some way, the financial support of[for  ] some Olympic teams can inspire people’s enthusiasm in doing sports. However, the investment of[wrong preposition  ] the[article error  ] arts does not have such a great effect because for most people, the[ article error ] arts are not necessary in[ wrong preposition ] their daily life and it is difficult for them to get access to the arts.

    Secondly, although the arts need a large amount of investigation[wrong word  ], (it is hard to)[ avoid using IT IS ADJECTIVE ] demonstrate that the investment is worthy. Most investments in the arts do not[avoid using NOT  ] have as much reward as expected. For example, the prince of a country have[ grammatical error ] once bought a masterpiece of[wrong preposition  ] DaVinci at a high price [grammatical error  ](which was then[ /subsequently ] identified to be painted by one of DaVinci’s students)[ misplaced ]. This investment is, of course, in vain.( So the money spent on the arts sometimes is meaningless and )[ repetition ]the government could not always( identify the rignt support)[unclear  ]. On the contrary, the support of [wrong preposition  ]sports can always make sense[  zero-conditional]. The training is more effective[unclear  ] with [ unclear preposition ]advanced facilities and better coaches.

    In conclusion, the support of [wrong preposition  ]the arts should not be higher than the support of athletics.