Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams.

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  • ShippersForMe Participant
    yugezuo
    University: UIBE
    Nationality: China
    July 8, 2020 at 2:34 pm

    Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams.

    Some people argue as if it is a general truth that government should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics. But to be frank, I cannot agree with them. There are several reasons.

    To begin with, we can easily notice the basic fact that the athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams set an image of the nation and represent the sport capability of the nation. Providing more support to the athletics means to cultivate them to work harder and they deserve a pat on the back. It also encourages more citizens to pay more energy and attention on sports, which also means more profits.

    Another reason why I disagree with the above statement is that I believe that the sprits of the athletics, especially those in competitive sports, have a more important impact on the audience than the arts. Take the Chinese female volleyball team as an example, they do their best no matter what the result is. Meanwhile they always unit together and make their way out to the success, which benefits teenagers a lot.

    Let’s talk about why we don’t spend more fund on the arts. An art work may contain different and several meanings, and some reflect the dark side in the society, which is too early for the children to know, and teenagers without right directions would imitate some of the actions.

    Finally, the relation between artists and athletes are interactive. Athletes represent the national physical strength, while artists represent the national mental strength. Neither of them is unimportant. But as for a country, we need our people physically strong first and when athletes win the price, we can feel the strong national honor.

    In conclusion, governments should spend more money in support of the athletics, such as state-sponsored Olympic teams and so on. I believe that athletics with more attention can perform better.

    TruckersForMe Participant
    Administrator
    July 10, 2020 at 2:55 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 35% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. Most sentences are Chinglish.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    ShippersForMe Participant
    yugezuo
    University: UIBE
    Nationality: China
    July 10, 2020 at 4:24 am

    Some people argue that the government should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics. But to be frank, I disagree with them. Here are several reasons.

    To begin with, athletics represent the sport capability of the nation. When government indicate that they would like to put more money on supporting athletics, it cultivates them to work harder and win more prices. It also encourages more citizens to pay more energy and attention to sports, which also means more profits.

    Besides, the influence of a gold medalist is huge and has a vital impact on the audience. Take the Chinese female volleyball team as an example, they tell the teenagers with practical actions how to face difficulties. When facing sufferings, they should overcome them with their diligence, perseverance and strong belief. Children would arouse their interest in sports for the athletes have set a good example.

    Let’s talk about why we don’t spend more money on the arts. An artwork may contain several meanings that reflect the dark side of society, which is too early for children to know, and teenagers without right guidance would imitate some of the actions. Also, there’s a saying that “Artists are inspired by the suffering.” Famous artists like Van Gogh lived in poverty without money and applause. But he created one of the most remarkable works The Starry Night. As Roman Rolland has said , “Poverty is not only a mentor of the mind, but also a tutor of style. It makes spirit and mental to be indifferent towards fame and fortune.”

    Finally, the relation between artists and athletes are interactive. Athletes represent the national physical strength, while artists represent the national mental strength. Neither of them is unimportant. But as for a country, it’s essential for our people to be physically strong first. And the strong national honor we feel when athletics win the price also matters.

    In conclusion, governments should spend more money in support of athletics than in support of the arts. I believe that athletics with more attention can perform better.

     

    TruckersForMe Participant
    Administrator
    July 15, 2020 at 1:23 am

    Some people argue that the government should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics.[ duplicating the prompt ] But to be frank,[redundant  ] I disagree with them. Here are several reasons.[ summarize your reasons in the introductory paragraph. ]

    To begin with, athletics represent[ grammatical error ] the( sport capability)[ unclear ] of the [article error  ] nation. When government[ word form error/(THEY) ] indicate[ grammatical error ] that they would like to (put more money on supporting)[ support ] athletics, it[unclear pronoun  ] cultivates them[ unclear pronoun ] to work harder and win more prices[wrong word  ] . It [ unclear pronoun ] also encourages more citizens to (pay more energy)[ wrong phrase ] and attention to sports, (which also means more profits)[ unsubstantiated statement ] .

    Besides, the influence of a gold medalist is huge and has a vital impact on the audience[ wordy ] . Take the Chinese female volleyball team as an example,[ punctuation error ] they[ unclear pronoun ] tell the teenagers (with practical actions)[ logical confusion ] how to face[ change a verb ] difficulties. When facing sufferings, they [ unclear pronoun ] should overcome them[unclear pronoun  ] with their[redundant  ] diligence, perseverance and strong belief. Children would arouse their interest in sports for[ since ] the athletes have set a good example.

    Let’s talk about why we don’t spend more money on the arts.[ informal writing ] An artwork may contain several meanings that reflect the dark side of [ article error ] society, which is too early for children to know, and[ . However, teenagers ] teenagers without [ article error ] right guidance would [ could ] imitate some of the actions. Also, there’s a saying that “Artists [spelling error  ] are inspired by the[ article error ] suffering.” Famous artists like Van Gogh lived in poverty without money[ redundant ] and applause. But he created one of the most remarkable works[called  ] The Starry Night. As Roman Rolland has[tense error  ] said , “Poverty[spelling error  ] is not only a mentor of the mind, [ grammatical/punctuation error ] but also a tutor of style. It[ unclear pronoun ] makes spirit and mental[word form error  ] to be indifferent towards fame and fortune.”

    Finally, the[  article error] relation between artists and athletes are[ grammatical error ] interactive. Athletes represent the[ article error ] national physical strength, while artists represent the[ article error ] national mental strength. Neither of them is unimportant. But as for a country, it’s[ informal ] essential for our [ the ] people to be physically strong first[  redundant] . And[ punctuation error with coordinating word ] the strong national honor we feel when athletics[word form error  ] win the price[  wrong word] also matters.

    In conclusion, governments should spend more money in support of athletics than in support of the arts. I believe that athletics[word form error  ] with more attention can perform better.