Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
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October 9, 2020 at 1:47 pm
Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
As our living conditions are highly improved in modern society, we pay more attention to arts and athletics than we did before. Considering this situation, someone suggests to spend more money in support of the arts than athletics. In fact, the propose is unwise.
Indeed, arts worth great consideration. Masterpieces can improve people’s aesthetic ability through appreciating pictures or sculptures. If a government spends money in the arts by constructing art museums or establishing new art institutions which could attract specialists in arts and cultivate new artists, the country will definitely be of greater significance in the field of art.
However, although art benefits countries and citizens, the advantage is limited. On the contrary, athletics can benefit all the citizens in the country in a better way. Citizens will be inspired seeing their Olympic teams win the trophy or are awarded medals, and this inspiration will serve as motivation, encouraging them to do daily exercise. Taking part in exercises is of great importance. People will not only keep fit for themselves, but will be more efficient in working, thus, make greater contribution to the society as well. To realize this goal, putting money to support Olympic teams is a fundamental step.
Furthermore, athletic itself is of greater commercial influence than art. As a result, supporting an athletic team will make profound profit for the whole country. As the athletic teams have the chance to play against their rivals in live games, people all around the country, or even all around the world, have the opportunity to know the whole team. The team members will be stars once they win the champion in an influential competition. After they become famous, they will be brands of the country, attracting advertisements or even bringing more profound profit. On the contrary, art cannot be showed by live, and it is harder to be prevailing than athletics, because art sometimes seems untouchable to those who are not well educated.
In a nutshell, although art is important, spending more money in support of the arts than athletics is unwise.
October 11, 2020 at 12:48 amScore: ungraded
Issues:
- About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
- About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
October 11, 2020 at 5:07 amRevised edition：
As our living conditions are highly improved in modern society, we pay more attention to arts and athletics than we did before. Considering this situation, someone suggests spending more money in support of the arts than athletics. In fact, the proposal is unwise.
Indeed, arts worth enormous consideration. Masterpieces can improve people’s aesthetic ability through appreciating pictures or sculptures. If suppose a government spends money in the arts by constructing art museums or establishing new art institutions which could attract specialists in arts and cultivate new artists; In that case, the country will be of massive significance in the field of art.
However, although art benefits countries and citizens, the advantage is limited, since athletics can profit all the citizens in a better way. Citizens will be inspired watching their Olympic teams win the trophy. This inspiration will serve as motivation, encouraging them to do daily exercise. Taking part in exercises is of great importance. People will keep fit for themselves, and be more efficient in working, thus, making a greater contribution to society as well. To realize this goal, putting money to support Olympic teams is a fundamental step.
Furthermore, athletic is of greater commercial influence than art; As a result, supporting an athletic team will make profound profit for the whole country. Since athletic teams have the chance to attend live games, people have opportunities to enjoy their performance. The team members will become well-known stars once winning the champion in an influential competition. After gaining reputation, the team will become a national icon, attracting advertisements and even bringing more profound profit. On the contrary, art is hard to live, making it harder to be more prevailing than athletic. Additionally, art sometimes seems untouchable to those who are not well educated, which contributes to its hardness of being popular.
In a nutshell, although art is significant, spending more money in support of the arts than athletics is unwise.
October 12, 2020 at 8:35 pmScore: 55.2
Issues:
- About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
October 15, 2020 at 2:07 pmRevised edition 2.0:
As our living conditions are highly improved in modern society, we pay more attention to arts and athletics than before. Considering this situation, someone suggests spending more money in support of the arts than athletics. The proposal is inappropriate.Admittedly, arts worth enormous consideration. Masterpieces can improve people’s aesthetic ability through appreciating pictures or sculptures. If a government spends money in the arts by constructing art museums or establishing new art institutions, attracting specialists in arts and cultivate talented artists; In that case, the country will be of massive significance in the field of art.
Although arts benefits countries and citizens, the advantage is limited, since athletics can profit all the citizens better. Citizens will be inspired watching their Olympic teams win the trophy. This inspiration will serve as motivation, encouraging them to do daily exercise. Taking part in physical activities is of great importance. People will keep fit and be more efficient in working, thus, making a greater contribution to society. To realize this goal, putting money to support sports teams is a fundamental step.
Furthermore, athletics is of more apparent commercial influence than art; In that case, supporting an athletic team will make considerable profit for the whole country. Since athletic teams have the chance to attend live games, people have opportunities to enjoy their performance. The team members will become well-known stars once winning the champion in an influential competition. After inproving their reputation, the team will become a national icon, attracting advertisements and even bringing more considerable profit. On the contrary, art is hard to live, making it harder to prevail. Additionally, art sometimes seems untouchable to those who are not well educated, contributing to its hardness of being prevalent.
In a nutshell, although arts is significant, spending more money in arts than athletics is unwise.
October 15, 2020 at 3:14 pmScore: 61.1
As our living conditions are greatly
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issignificant, spending more moneyinon the arts overthanathletics is unwise.
