If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying.

  • zoushu
    University: 皖西学院本科
    Nationality: 中国
    February 3, 2021 at 11:41 am

    If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying.

    In this rapidly changing world, the birth of numerous emerging industries has created a large number of jobs. Meanwhile, this society is in greater need of outstanding talents, giving rise to an increasingly fierce competition. Hence, people frequently find themselves in a dilemma between the choice of grasping the opportunity to get a secure job and waiting for a better. From my perspective, differences between young people and older people should exist in their choices.

    On the one hand, young people have no necessity to compromise a secure job. In order to find a satisfying job, they have plenty of time and energy to learn something new and to take a risk of making mistakes. In addition, these mistakes provide valuable lessons for them to find a better job in the future. For instance, my friend Li, as an architect, told me that he wants to shift his career direction towards drawing. The period he took painting class at university triggered him suffering from drawing addiction. I strongly encouraged him to make such a decision based on his great years of youth and exuberant energy. Although his decision one day in the future disproved, he can gain further inspiration from drawing when he comes back to be an architect.

    On the other hand, old people should give priority to a secure job. They cannot afford to wait since their choices regarding work are subject to stability. With the duty of the family, they need a steady income to support it. Many living examples show that some old people do not give in a stable job opportunity but to constantly pursue better, which brings about their families suffering a major crisis without financial source. Besides, unlike young people, the old age becomes an irresistible obstacle for them to make mistakes result by inadequate time and energy to start again.

    In a nutshell, a secure job is for old people due to the requirements of stability. Young people, in order to live up to their good years, should prioritize pursuing a satisfying job.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    February 5, 2021 at 2:56 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    zoushu
    University: 皖西学院本科
    Nationality: 中国
    February 7, 2021 at 3:18 am

    Giving a glimpse into this rapidly changing world, the birth of numerous emerging industries has created abundant job opportunities. However, people frequently find themselves in a dilemma between getting a secure job or waiting for a better opportunity. From my perspective, differences between young people and older people should exist in their choices.

    On the one hand, young people have no necessity to compromise a secure job. In order to find a satisfying job, they have plenty of time and energy to learn something new and taking the risk of making mistakes. Additionally, these mistakes could become valuable education for them to find a better job in the future. For instance, my friend Li, as an architect, told me he wants to shift his career direction towards drawing. The period he took drawing class at university triggered him to suffer from the painting addiction. I strongly encouraged him to make such a decision based on his good years of youth possessing exuberant energy. Although his decision disproved in the future, he can gain further inspiration from drawing to be an architect again.

    On the other hand, older people should give priority to a secure job. They cannot afford to wait since their choices regarding work are subject to stability. With the duty of the family, they need a steady income to support it. Many living examples show that some elders are not willing to give in a stable job opportunity but unremittingly pursue better, which brings about their families suffering a major crisis without financial source. Besides, unlike young people, older age becomes an irresistible obstacle for them to make mistakes result by inadequate time and energy to start again.

    In a nutshell, a secure job is for old people due to the requirements of stability. Young people should prioritize to pursue a satisfying job in order to live up to their good years of youth.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    February 9, 2021 at 3:22 am

    On hold.