If you could study a subject that you have never had the opportunity to study, what would you choose?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing If you could study a subject that you have never had the opportunity to study, what would you choose?

  • Ensc01
    University: University of International Business and Economics
    Nationality: China
    August 25, 2020 at 2:13 pm

    If you could study a subject that you have never had the opportunity to study, what would you choose?

    Learning is a crucial process in everyone’s life. Learning can help you get to know new knowledge, understand others’ opinion better, and even can offer more opportunities to you in your career. As a student, I have learned a lot of subject, but unfortunately because of everyone’s limited time, there are also many subjects that I didn’t have an opportunity to study. Economics, psychology, and sociology are examples of them. Each of these 3 subjects will be greatly beneficial to me because they all can open a new area for me. If I am offered an opportunity to study one of these subjects, I would choose economics for its essentiality and benefit to future development.

    Studying economics is a good way to understand how our society runs. Microeconomics focuses on how production is allocated to different people by markets, and macroeconomics explains phenomena like economic growth, unemployment, and inflation. Studying economics provides me essential knowledge to understand such phenomena. When I combine the economics theories with the phenomena, I will have good understanding of how our society runs.

    Let me take my friend Clerk who majors in economics as an example. In leisure time, I like to talk with him about social problems like unemployment. Clerk has his own understanding of the social issues because he combines what happens in reality and what he learned in class. I always learn a lot from our talks. Once I study economics, I will also combine what I learn and the social issues together. I’m sure I will understand our society much better in this way.

    Opportunity to study a new subject is valuable. When offered such an opportunity, I would choose economics to widen my horizon and for my future development.

    August 26, 2020 at 8:37 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 10% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    3. Singular versus plural errors
    4. Spelling errors
    5. Article errors
    6. Wordy – remove unnecessary words and simplify the sentences to make your essay clearer

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.