In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay. (Full Score)

TOEFL Writing Sample: In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.

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The fact that the average lifespan of a person has increased in modern times is a result of the law of averages. Both developed and developing countries have easier access to antibiotics, for instance. The lack of this type of medicine was one of the main reasons people died in previous generations. Since many more people in the world died from treatable diseases, it is a statistical reality that the ‘average’ person lives longer in the 21st century.

Besides antibiotics, other major improvements have come in terms of child mortality rates. They are still very high in so-called 3rd world countries, however the improvement of child bearing facilities in heavily populated countries like China, India, and Indonesia means that a higher percentage of children ‘survive’ childhood.

There are also vaccines for many illnesses that prevent people from dying at a young age. Also, in many societies, old people were not very well cared for in previous centuries. Institutions such as the European Union have made it easier to mandate health requirements that can help people live longer. Many modern nations have ‘single payer’ health care systems that facilitate visits to the doctor. Surgery has improved since the 19th century and fewer people die ‘under the knife’ nowadays. Lastly, it is probable that many more people died from eating bad food and that is another big improvement in modern societies.

But maybe the assumption that ‘people live longer’ is not entirely accurate. For instance, there are many records of people who lived to a very old age in ancient times. Since there are so many of these accounts in history books and religious sources, it seems pretty likely that some of them are true. So, I think that in the past some of the people lived much longer than they do today although the average person is likely to live much longer in modern times.

[314 words]

Notes:

1. All of the prompts are from former TOEFL exams.
2. The information available online, i.e., Google search results, is either misleading or wrong relative to length: [an organization] states independent essays should be between 280-320 words. More words than needed is equivalent to more opportunities to make a mistake. Students should be informed re: word count, i.e., MORE WORDS does not mean a higher score.
3. Information concerning paragraphs/content available from [a TOEFL training school], etc. is also wrong: the number of paragraphs is irrelevant and the only important issue re: content is to RESPOND DIRECTLY to the prompt, i.e., the raters/software doesn’t care about structure or content except the latter must Make sense and Must directly respond to the prompt [to preclude prepared essays].
4. UK usage/spelling is entirely acceptable.
5. AVOID complex grammar; avoid ‘Chinese English’ usage; 5 tenses: present, past, future, present perfect [have done/has been], and conditional [would go/could do it] are OPTIMAL.
6. Don’t rewrite the prompt in the first paragraph of your essay…it’s okay to paraphrase [use words that mean the same thing].
7. Recent TOEFL change…students found test takes too long, so there are fewer multiple-choice questions, i.e., essays are now more heavily ‘weighted’]