In many countries schools have severe problems with student behavior. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing In many countries schools have severe problems with student behavior. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

  • chenyianx
    University: southwest jiaotong university
    Nationality: chinese
    November 24, 2019 at 9:31 am

    In many countries schools have severe problems with student behavior. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

    Nowadays lots of students don’t behave in school, and this phenomenon has gradually become a serious problem even for the whole society. Firstly I would like to discuss the cause behind this question,and then suggest some constructive solutions.

    Education plays an essential part when developing students’ manners . On the one hand, parents should be responsible to the consequences of their children’s behaviour. As parents, it’s their duty to teach their kids basic etiquette, so that they would unlikely to offense others; without parents’ company and teaching ,students would probably be less respectful or sympathy when getting along with people. On the other hand, if teachers only focus on their lecture quality, they would easily ignore students’ bad behavior off class.

    In my opinion, parents and teachers need to cooperate to solve this problem. To do so, both side should understand how important to build a healthy personality for a child. Parents’ behaviour directly influence their children’s value cognition, therefore, family is supposed to be a warm place where children have no chance to feel any violence. School also should make students remember that it is a place of knowledge and rules. Without authority, school would can hardly get students to listen. The cooperation between parents and school can thus be built on both side’s efforts:parents play as the key role ,and school helps as an assistant.

    To summarize, students’ behaviour problem seems complex and hard to solve, but actually it just needs the right medicine.

    January 2, 2020 at 2:49 am

    Score: Ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 15% of the sentences are passive. You need to convert them into their active counterparts.
    2. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten and split them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.