In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have positive or negative effects on society?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have positive or negative effects on society?

  • su
    University: jimei university
    Nationality: 中国
    May 13, 2020 at 1:58 pm

    In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have positive or negative effects on society?

    With the development of technology,especially the improvement of the medical level,human life expectancy is also extended,Although the older people can play an important role in society,aging population could cause some social issues.

    One problem is that the health care cost will increase a lot and it will increase more burden in taxpayers. Most of the medical costs increase in later life. So as the population ages,the government needs to putting more money on the elderly care and other essential services like education will face the lacks of money.Another Problem is that the output of the company will decrease.With ages, People’s ability to work and efficiency will decline,it will affect the profits of the Company and even the development of economy.

    But on the other hand many People will extend their working life is their experience and wisdom are very valuable.They work So long that they already become experts in their field, they can impart knowledge and skill to younger,such as teach young people how to manage a Company and grow the company and brand.

    All in all,increasing aging population will put a huge Pressure on the country’s health care system and also reduce the company’s output,these have a bad effect on the society and economy but we can use their valuable experience to benefits our society.

    May 14, 2020 at 8:11 pm

    Score: 34.6

    Issues:

    1. About 70% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 30% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.