In order to adapt to life in university and succeed, if you are a freshman, which method do you think is better

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing In order to adapt to life in university and succeed, if you are a freshman, which method do you think is better

  • Christopher
    University: NK
    Nationality: China
    November 16, 2020 at 6:09 pm

    In order to adapt to life in university and succeed, if you are a freshman, which method do you think is better:

    1. attending a one-week orientation or introduction program when you are on the university campus and before classes begin.

    2. meeting regularly in your first year with students in yo

    A good beginning is crucial for students who go to college as freshmen. To help freshmen with the adaptive problem, there are two methods: attending an orientation or meeting with older students. In my perspective, meeting with older students is an effective solution to the adaptive problem,

     

    First of all, meeting older students could provide freshmen with personal and specific advice. The orientation organized by the university is commonly held in a huge hall. No matter how successful an orientation is, what it can do is to introduce the general academic system and the history of university. But freshmen meet various problems and the orientation can’t solve all freshmen’s problems. On the contrary, by listening to freshmen’s problems face to face, older students could indeed realize what troubles freshmen. Older students, then, could indicate what freshmen need to do and help them plan their college life. Freshmen, therefore, could settle their problems and adapt to their college life. In this way, of course, they will succeed in the future.

     

    What’s more, freshmen could gain social skills by meeting older students. An orientation held in a huge hall only has students listen to the lecturer, hardly could freshmen talk with the lecturer, such an orientation would never teach freshmen a social lesson. In contrast, meeting older students requires freshmen to communicate with older students. While communicating with older students, freshmen gradually learn how to deal with interpersonal relationships, which could certainly benefit them in college life. Also, communicating with older students weaks freshmen’s fear when attending an unfamiliar environment. Thus, with emotional problems solved, freshmen could adapt to college life quickly.

     

    To sum up, meeting older students provides freshmen with personal advice and improves their communication capacity. I firmly believe that meeting older students is a better way to solve the adaptive problem than attending an orientation.

    November 20, 2020 at 3:37 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Wordy – simplify sentences and remove unnecessary words
    2. Article errors
    3. Word choice errors
    4. Add some supporting information to your argument in the introduction. Why is it the best method?

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.