In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?
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July 11, 2020 at 2:50 pm
In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?
Nowadays, with highly developed technology, many countries put lots of effort into their agriculture industry, but they still have a lot of people suffered starvation. As far as I’m concerned, the reasons contributing to the situation mentioned above are the severe natural environments and the lack of education.
In my opinion, the severe natural environment is the main reason to those developing countries that lack food. Crops in those severe natural environments are hard to breed. For instance, the large forest in Africa is no suitable place for cultivating, compared with the plain alongside the river. Because in forest, the soil’s nutrition is all absorbed by other plants, having nothing left for cereal. Or just like Sahara desert, those places lack water for grain crops growth.
Besides, education is also a vital factor for agriculture. Without the guidance of specialists, those uneducated farmers could barely know enough to choose the proper crops the place fits for. Furthermore, farmers who lack education also know less about operating agricultural machinery. To sum up, the lack of education has become an inevitable factor to countries’ famine.
To solve two problems mentioned before, two solutions I think are of vital importance to local starvation. First of all, local government should provide fundamental guarantee, helping them have access to getting enough food. Next, it’s specialists that play an important role in local environment reformation and agricultural technical guidance. Although technology is highly developed, we still need relevant specialists to teach farmers and local government, which can truly put the theory into practice.
July 15, 2020 at 9:33 pmScore: 49.3
Issues:
- About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
- About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
- Lots of grammatical/article errors.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
July 16, 2020 at 9:48 amNowadays, with highly developed technology, a considerable amount of countries put plenty of effort into their agriculture industry. However, there still have a large number of people on the globe who suffered starvation. As far as I am concerned, the reasons contributing to the situation are the severe natural environments and the lack of education.
In my opinion, the severe natural environment is the main reason for those developing countries that lack food. Crops in those critical natural environments are hard to breed. For instance, the vast forest in Africa is no suitable place for cultivating, compared with the plain alongside the river. As in the rainforest, the soil’s nutrition is all absorbed by other plants, having nothing left for cereal. Or like the Sahara desert, those places lack water for grain crop growth.
Besides, education is also a vital factor in agriculture. Without the guidance of specialists, those uneducated farmers could barely choose the proper crops that the place fits for. Furthermore, farmers who lack education also know less about operating agricultural machinery. To sum up, the lack of education has become an inevitable factor in the countries’ famine.
To solve the two problems above, two solutions I think are of vital importance. First of all, the local government should provide a fundamental guarantee, giving them access to enough food. Next, specialists should take responsibility for the local environment reformation and agricultural technical guidance. Although technology is highly developed, we still need relevant specialists to teach farmers and local administrators advanced techniques.
July 16, 2020 at 3:37 pmOn hold.
July 17, 2020 at 1:52 pmNowadays, with highly developed technology, a considerable amount of (simplify) countries put plenty of effort (be more specific, what is this effort? money? resources? time?) into their agriculture industry. However, there still have (word choice error) a large number of (simplify) people on the globe who suffered (verb tense error) starvation. As far as I am concerned, the reasons contributing to the situation are the severe natural environments and the lack of education (rephrase sentence order – “severe natural environments and poor education contribute…”).
In my opinion, the severe natural environment(word choice error – “harsh climate” is better) is the main reason for those developing countries that lack food. Crops in those critical (word choice error) natural environments are hard to breed. For instance, the vast forest in (preposition error) Africa is no (“not a”) suitable place for cultivating (cultivating what?), compared with (preposition error) the (article error) plain alongside the river. As (unnecessary) in the rainforest, the soil’s nutrition (nutrients) is (are) all (unnecessary) absorbed by other plants, having nothing left for cereal (word choice error). Or like (“And”) the Sahara desert, those places (removes) lack(s) water for grain crop growth.
Besides, (choose different transition phrase) education is also a vital factor in agriculture. Without the guidance of specialists, those (unnecessary) uneducated farmers could barely choose (rephrawe) the proper crops that the place fits for (rephrase). Furthermore, farmers who lack education also know less about operating agricultural machinery. To sum up, the (article) lack of education has become an inevitable factor (word choice error) in the countries’ famine.
To solve the two problems above, two solutions I think are of vital importance (reorder). First of all, the local government should provide a fundamental guarantee (to whom?), giving them (who?) access to enough food. Next, specialists should take responsibility for the local environment reformation (word choice error) and agricultural technical guidance. Although technology is highly developed, we still need relevant specialists to teach farmers and local administrators advanced techniques.
