In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

  • xuhanqiu
    University: Shanghai Normal University
    Nationality: China
    July 14, 2020 at 12:16 pm

    In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

    Although great progress was made in agriculture, many people in some areas remain hungry. The two principal causes of this are an insufficient spread of advanced technology and serious natural disasters.

    In modern society, agriculture has developed a lot, and, with new technology, people can produce much more grains. However, many rural and distant areas like some places in Africa, have not learned the new agricultural techniques or equipped with advanced facilities, so people there may hardly grow enough grains to eat, which leads to starvation. To solve this problem, developed countries should take the responsibility to help these underdeveloped areas to learn advanced agricultural techniques and then take advantage of the improvement of agriculture.

    Another important factor is the natural disasters taken place in some areas, such as floods, tornadoes, drought, insect calamity, and so on. These disasters can damage crops on the ground and cause crop failure, especially in backward areas. For example, the flood happened in Shandong Province, China, in 2019, destroyed almost all the farmlands there. The grains stored in national granary and foodstuff produced in other provinces solve this problem. However, these disasters will cause irreversible damages to more underdeveloped areas or small countries. The best way to solve this problem is to enhance international cooperation, especially between the countries that suffer from natural disasters. They can help each other by share foodstuff when one of them faces natural disasters.

    In conclusion, I believe the best way to eliminate hunger in some areas is the popularization of advanced technology in agriculture and the close cooperation between countries and areas that suffer from natural disasters.

    July 15, 2020 at 11:15 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 25% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.