In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays, people store knowledge on the internet.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays, people store knowledge on the internet.

  • Aliciawm
    University: Nantong
    Nationality: China
    August 3, 2020 at 10:33 pm

    In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays, people store knowledge on the internet. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

    In contemporary society, a number of people get access to information from the Internet, rather than from books. It has become a heated topic whether reserving knowledge online can bring strengths to individuals or not. From my perspective, there are more merits than demerits of capturing knowledge online.

    Actually, it is beneficial for the public to have access to knowledge online. Firstly, one distinct merit is that it is convenient for individuals to acquire information. For instance, when people hang out with their friends, they can gain knowledge via electronic devices, instead of holding a heavy book. Besides, gathering information is a time-consuming activity, and it is much faster to store knowledge on the Internet than in the book. Therefore, the number of people who use electronic equipment has a rapid growth. Additionally, taking advantage of the network, people can obtain lots of knowledge whatever they want to store, because of the advancement of technology. In contrast, paper books generally focus on an explicit aspect, so the information we can have access to is limited.

    Although now reserving knowledge is advantageous to people, there are some drawbacks. On the one hand, it is difficult for individuals to distinguish true and false information, as there is a great amount of knowledge online. As an example, teenagers who lack independent views are likely to be misled. On the other hand, without the supervision, when people search something through the network, they may be invaded privacy, which is dangerous.

    To conclude, storing knowledge online is a double-edged sword. Nevertheless, as long as people can use it properly, it can provide benefits for individuals, instead of disadvantages.

    August 7, 2020 at 10:50 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Make your introduction/argument clearer – remove unnecessary words.
    2. Article errors
    3. Preposition errors
    4. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.