In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today. Use specific reasons and examples to support.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today. Use specific reasons and examples to support.

  • Shardew
    University: NJU
    Nationality: China
    April 28, 2020 at 1:34 pm

    In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today. Use specific reasons and examples to support.

    It is hard to deny that cars bring with us a lot of convenience, and such a fact that leads a impression able people to generate the opinion that there is going to more cars in near future. While these ideas have their base, they need to be scrutinized meticulously before we reach a conclusion. As far as efficiency, environment, and fuel are concerned, I strongly hold that the number of cars will undergo a harsh decline.

    To begin with, the change of income and living conditions may eager peoples search more efficient substitute. The development of technique is far beyond our exception. Thus, the transportation systems are supposed to undergo surprisingly development in twenty years. The little flying craft may replace the place of the car which are used now with people’s burning desire for more fast transportation. As a result, the relatively slower cars maybe suffer harsh decline.

    Furthermore, the fact that the air condition maybe even be worser than it is today indicate that the number of car maybe go down in that time. As we all known, with the boosting economy of china, there are an increasing number of cars running on the roads. This in turn introduce air pollutions into all of us and we formed a clearly recognization on air conditions since then. Even worse, more and more cities suffers from smog. Thus, Some cities published constraint on the utilizaition of cars. For example, at double days, only cars with double numbers can go to road at Beijing. Had it not been for so many cars, this terrible air pollution would never affect us as it is today.

    Nevertheless, a voice arises that cars can help people to deliver things easily, get to destination fastly. Ironically, the fuel the car used are finite and maybe not to support such number of at that time. Besides, this type of fuel is very difficult to synthesize and the formation of it, naturally, need millions of years. Therefore, the number of cars will not increase further in the near future, not mention that in twenty years.

    April 30, 2020 at 8:11 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them;
    2. About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts;
    3. Numerous grammatical errors;
    4. Most sentences were unclearly written, so you need to rewrite them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

Tagged: