Is it as important for older people to learn and study new things as it is for young people to do so?
TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. › TOEFL Writing › Is it as important for older people to learn and study new things as it is for young people to do so?
-
Is it as important for older people to learn and study new things as it is for young people to do so?
Recently, there is a discussion about a verb: study until death, and someone question that is it as important for older people to learn and study neew things as young people to do so? As fa as I’m concerned, I think it’s also important for older people to learn new things.
First of all, learning new things could avoid olders to be bored. Learning new things means olders could find something to do and olders could get out of situation that being bored. For example, my grandfather always stared sky and smile less than less last year, I was worried about him so I decided to buy a computer for him. He conldn’t move his eye from new computer after his first glare, and he asked me to buy him some computer book for him. Since studying the new computer, he haven’t seen sky anymore and the smile came back on his face. The new things attracted my grandfather and make him no longer bored.
Finally, getting the knowledge of new things help olders to catch up with fashion. Since olders get un-to-date information by learning new things, it help them to catch up with fashion which could keep them in good mood. Take my grandmother as an example, driven an video of choosing clothes, and she wanted a suit in fashion which made her began to learn modern costum matching last month. After a few days, she bought some clothed and dressed them, and really did she differ before, not only did she look beautiful, but alss she gave me a feeling of energy. She did catch up with costum fashion and kept good mood by learning new things.
Generally, learning new things indeed benefit olders a lot, which signify that it’s as important for older people to learn new things as young generation. I definitely support olders to study new things.
Score: ungraded
Issues:
- About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
- Spelling errors
- Word choice errors (olders -> elderly)
- Verb form errors
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
Invalid [ Complete the revision of your other essay prior to working on this one. ]
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.