It is better to finish a project completely and then do another project than do two or more projects at the same time.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing It is better to finish a project completely and then do another project than do two or more projects at the same time.

  • Arrows007
    University: JNU
    Nationality: CN
    August 10, 2020 at 2:20 pm

    It is better to finish a project completely and then do another project than do two or more projects at the same time.

    Many people have the opinion that we should do two or more projects at the same time because of its efficiency. However, such a statement suffers from both logical and factual fallacies, and it should be examined meticulously. As far as our physical and mental health and effectiveness are concerned, I strongly hold that it’s better to finish a project completely and then do another project.

    Firstly, it’s better for our physical and mental health because when we are focusing on just one specific task, we won’t feel stressful. Take me for example, my professor told me that the structure of the paper wasn’t very clear and I had to rewrite it at the end of last semester. What’s worse, the deadline of the paper was coming and it was three days left before my final exams, and I felt like losing my mind. In order to finish all these things on time, I did nothing but sitting in front of my laptop, finally I got sick since I was pretty stressed out.

    Nevertheless, a voice arises that doing two or more projects at the same time is able to have higher efficiency. Ironically, the higher efficiency is based on we can focus very well on the things we are dealing with. Doing two or more projects at the same means we may probably get distracted by other things like emails or phone messages about other projects when we are working. To be exact, it’s hard for us to manage our time. On the other hand, if we can just cope with one thing, we are able to take full use of our time on the task. Meanwhile, we may learn better during this process.

    August 13, 2020 at 3:03 am

     

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 25% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Partial Revision

    Many people (have the opinion that)[ verbose/simplify ] we should (do two or more projects at the same time)[duplication from the topic  ] because of its [ unclear pronoun ]efficiency. However, such a statement suffers from both logical and factual fallacies, and it should be examined meticulously. [  use your own words to write]As far as our physical and mental [redundant  ]health and effectiveness[unclear word  ] are concerned, I strongly hold that it’s[ informal/unclear pronoun ] better to finish a project completely[redundant/finish means all is done  ] and then do another project.

    Arrows007
    University: JNU
    Nationality: CN
    August 13, 2020 at 1:45 pm

    Many people have the opinion that we should do two or more projects at the same time because of the high efficiency. However, such a statement suffers from both logical and factual fallacies, and it should be examined meticulously. As far as our physical and mental health and effectiveness are concerned, I strongly hold my view that it is better to finish a project completely and then do another project.

    Firstly, it is better for our physical and mental health because when we are focusing on just one specific task, we will not feel stressed. Take me for example, my professor told me that the structure of the paper was not very clear and I had to rewrite it at the end of the last semester. What’s worse, the deadline of the paper was coming and there was three days before my final exams. Therefore, in order to finish all these things on time, I did nothing but sitting in front of my laptop, finally I got sick since I was pretty stressed out. Therefore, it is better for us to manage our time when focusing on just one project. In conclusion, it is good for our health.

    Nevertheless, a voice arises that doing two or more projects at the same time has higher efficiency. Ironically, the higher efficiency is based on the fact that we can focus very well on the things we are dealing with. Doing two or more projects at the same time means that we may probably get distracted, since we are going to receive emails or phone messages about other projects when we are working. And doing multiple subjects at the same time requires us to shift our mindset often, preventing us from processing and absorbing new information better, which will result in dabbling in more areas but not be able to understand advanced and expert technique very well. On the other hand, if we can just cope with one thing, we are able to take full use of our time on the task. It is acknowledged that one can learn better when they are fully concentrated. In this way, we are able to learn more about the projects, including the content knowledge.

    August 13, 2020 at 7:52 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    3. Lengthy paragraph. Restrict each paragraph to 90 words.
    4. Add a conclusion paragraph.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.