It is better to live in one town or city all your life than to move from one place to another.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing It is better to live in one town or city all your life than to move from one place to another.

  • Marion
    University: Nanjing University
    Nationality: China
    July 27, 2020 at 5:05 am

    Do you agree or disagree? It is better to live in one town or city all your life than to move from one place to another. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    Admittedly, staying in one city all life will make life stable, and such fact leads impressionable people to generate the opinion that it’s better to live in one city all the life. However, such a statement suffers from both logical and factual fallacies, and it should be examined meticulously. In my opinion, I strongly hold that it’s more beneficial to move from one place to another.

    Firstly, the society and environment are changing rapidly that our lives become increasingly dynamic. It’s no doubt that we should select a suitable place for us to live. It may be possible in the past that staying in just one city throughout our whole life when the world develops slowly. However, external factors alter extremely fast that every place is undergoing unprecedented changes. One place that is suitable in the past may become unsuitable and it’s time for us to move to another place to seek a better life.

    Moreover, we are able to make many new friends if we move to a new city. Undoubtedly, friends play an important part in our lives. The more friends we have, the happier we are since when we encounter adverse circumstances, we could get help from our friends and we can hang out with friends to relax. For example, my mother moved to a new place when she just began to work, where she made friends with her neighbor and they become her most important friends in her life. My mother once told me, “They helped me a lot and it’s so lucky to meet them”.

    Nevertheless, a voice may arise that we will encounter lots of unexpected challenges in a new place so it’s not worthwhile to do so. Admittedly, exposure to a new environment will bring challenges, but the benefits outweigh the challenges. For instance, if we move to a big city, we may feel stressed at the beginning. However, we will have more job opportunities and widen our horizons, which we are not capable to experience before. Therefore, such concern is unnecessary.

    July 27, 2020 at 10:31 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Present a clear thesis/argument in introduction. Now it is wordy but does not say much.
    2. Article errors
    3. Avoid conjunctions
    4. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    July 27, 2020 at 9:59 pm

    Invalid [ You need to complete the revision of your first essay prior to submitting the second one.]