It is better to organize a big party with lots of people than have a small party that only close friends and relatives are invited to

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  • TruckersForMe Participant
    Andrew
    University: High school
    Nationality: China
    August 25, 2020 at 1:39 pm

    Agree or disagree, in order to celebrate major events, it is better to organize a big party with lots of people than have a small party that only close friends and relatives are invited to?

    What we are discussing is the topic of whether a party with a crowd or a party with only close friends and relatives is a better way to celebrate a major event. Arguments varied thanks to the apparent differences that exist in the values. I, in this discussion, tend to claim that the proposal to hold a large party with many people together is the best way to celebrate the important events. My tendency derives from a close examination over the perspective of pressure and socialization.

    First of all, from the perspective of pressure, participating in a large party can help us better ease the pressure. Compared to a smaller party, which are consists of your close friends and relatives, a larger party will have more people together to share more joy. Imagine that everyone talks about interesting things and playing, this kind of atmosphere enables people to quickly put the pressure behind and participate in it. For example, my friend Andrew, who just got an award for his economy project, felt lost and suffer in the pressure of his success. So, I brought him to a party. He talked with people about the current economy, absorbing many different thoughts from all kinds of people. Everyone, there was like his project and praised him. The party not only celebrates his success in the project but also releases his pressure and gave him some new thoughts.

    In addition, people can make more friends in a crowded party. From the perspective of socialization, participating in a big party with many strangers allows you to make more friends and expand your social square. On the other hand, close friends and relatives party has no help in your socialization. With celebrating the major events in a large party, you can make more friends in the same field. For example, I was holding a party to celebrate my first champion on a golf tour. Not only friends and relatives are coming, but also others who were also like playing golf. I even make a friend with an American player.

    TruckersForMe Participant
    Administrator
    August 28, 2020 at 1:18 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. Wordy  – remove unnecessary words and simplify sentences
    3. Always write in complete sentences
    4. Word choice errors
    5. Make your argument clear in the introduction

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    TruckersForMe Participant
    Andrew
    University: High school
    Nationality: China
    September 4, 2020 at 11:24 am

    We are discussing whether a party with a crowd or a party with only close friends and relatives is a better way to celebrate a major event. Arguments varied thanks to the apparent differences that exist in the values. I, in this discussion, tend to claim that the best way to celebrate the important events is to hold a large party with many people together. My tendency derives from a close examination over the perspective of pressure and socialization.

    Firstly, from the perspective of pressure, participation in a large party can help us better ease the stress. Compared to a party that consists of your close friends and relatives, a larger party will have more people together to share more joy. Imagine that everyone talks about diverting things and playing. This kind of atmosphere enables people to quickly put the pressure behind and participate in it. For example, my friend Andrew, who just got an award for his economy project, felt lost and suffer in the pressure of his success. So, I brought him to a party. He talked with people about the current economy, absorbing many different thoughts from all kinds of people. Everyone praised his project. The party not only celebrates his success in the project but also releases his pressure and gave him some new thoughts.

    Besides, people can make more friends in a crowded party. From the perspective of socialization, participating in a big party with many strangers allows you to make more friends and expand your social square. On the other hand, close friends and relatives party has no help in your socialization. With celebrating the momentous events in a large party, you can make more friends in the same field. For example, I was holding a party to celebrate my first champion on a golf tour. Not only friends and relatives are coming, but also others who were also like playing golf. I even make a friend with an American player.

    TruckersForMe Participant
    Administrator
    September 4, 2020 at 9:08 pm

    Agree or disagree, in order to celebrate major events, it is better to organize a big party with lots of people than have a small party that only close friends and relatives are invited to?

    We are discussing [ Arguments vary concerning  ]whether a party with a crowd or a party with only close friends and relatives is a better way to celebrate a major event. Arguments varied thanks to the apparent differences that exist in the values. I, in this discussion, tend to claim [ believe/reckon  ]that the best way to celebrate the[  article error ] important events is to hold a large party with many people together. My tendency[ unclear word  ] derives from a close examination (over the perspective of pressure and socialization)[ unclear  ].

    Firstly, from the perspective of pressure, participation [ participating  ]in a large party can help us better ease the stress. Compared to a party that consists of your close friends and relatives, a larger party will have more people together to share more joy. Imagine that everyone talks about (diverting things and playing)[  unclear ]. This kind of atmosphere enables people to quickly put the pressure behind and participate in it[ unclear pronoun  ]. For example, my [ My  ] friend Andrew, who just got an award for his (economy project) [ unclear ], felt lost and suffer[  tense error] in[ wrong preposition ] the pressure of his success. So, I brought him to a party. He talked with people about the current economy, absorbing many different thoughts from all kinds of people. Everyone praised his project. The party not only celebrates[ tense error ] his success in the project but also releases[tense error  ] his pressure and gave him some new thoughts.

    Besides, people can make more friends in a crowded party. From the perspective of socialization, participating [Participating  ]in a big party (with many strangers)[logical confusion  ] allows you [  inconsistent in person]to make more friends and expand your (social square)[ unclear ]. On the other hand, （close friends and relatives party）[ unclear ] has no help in your socialization. (With celebrating the momentous events in a large party, you can make more friends in the same field)[ unclear ] . For example, I was holding a party to celebrate my first champion on a golf tour. Not only friends and relatives are[  misplaced] coming, but also[ misplaced ] others who were also like playing golf. I even make a friend with an American player.