It is better to relax through reading books and watching films than doing physical exercises.

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  • Yuki
    University: no university yet
    Nationality: Japan
    September 5, 2020 at 3:34 am

    It is better to relax through reading books and watching films than doing physical exercises.

    The increasing harsh requirement and intense competition on current students and employees caused ever high stress. As a result, entertainment and various ways of relaxation also flourished. Some people consider that it is better to relax through doing some physical exercises. Personally, I am favor of the view that reading books and watching films is a better way to relax.

    To begin with, people hardly consume any energy during the process of reading books and watching films. Nowadays, many jobs require intense physically work during the day, such as deliver man, cleaner, traffic police and so on. For people who do those intense physical work, reading books and watching films are much wiser choices to relax than doing exercise, because the only concern to comfortably reading or watching is the location and environment. Besides the two factors, what people need to do is to focus and physically relax. For example, people who deliver packages have already done high-intensity work, so they are too tired to do exercise. Obviously,the better choice for them to relax is reading books and watching films in the soft chair or bed because of the low energy consumption. Without doubt, reading books and watching films is a better way to relax.

    Additionally, the stories of books and films can bring people more metal relaxation. When people read books and watch films, they will be immersed in the stories and their emotions and feelings also change along with what the characters are experiencing. Therefore, they will forget their own troubles temporarily and relieve their stress. In contrast, doing exercise cannot bring people so many different feelings, such as happiness, sympathy and excitement. For example, when I watch action movies, such as the Fast and The Furious, the splendid scenes make me excited. When I watch detective films, I also ponder, reason, and collaborate with the characters. I can completely relax myself through watching movies because I am immersed in a new universe so that I can forget my own troubles.

    September 8, 2020 at 10:00 pm

    Score: 58.3

    Issues:

    1. Lengthy paragraphs. Restrict each paragraph to 90 words.
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.