It is easier for parents to raise their children than 50 years ago.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing It is easier for parents to raise their children than 50 years ago.

  • Julia
    University: BJUT
    Nationality: China
    August 13, 2020 at 11:00 am

    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is easier for parents to raise their children than 50 years ago.

    Since the standard of living has improved, it is easier for parents nowadays to meet their children’s fundamental needs of life. However, I agree that modern families now suffer from more stressors and challenges, and they are under the double burden of material and spiritual anxieties in recent years.

    Firstly, in terms of objects, education has increasingly become a massive expense in bringing up a child. Modern families in China are trying their best to give all the advantages they could to increase their children’s chances of going to a better college, such as many of them would like to take some refresher courses for their kids, buy houses that are nearby the school and even let kids attend private high schools.

    All these happen because money and resources that go into education might help their children enhance academic performance. So, children have taken a step closer to the college of their choices by having better access to college entrance exams. However, all these costs are confined to today’s parents, and therefore, they create more gnawing anxieties from crippling demands for those substances. Whereas, parents in the past with no preconceived notions about this type of education may have never been in this hardship.

    Secondly, parents also have mental stresses apart from physical pressures. If they pay more attention on their work, it is hard to focus more on bounding with their kids, especially when education outcomes have turned into an essential part of raising a kid now. For instance, one of the core topics when adults gather together is about their children. Parents in there would be proud of their great children and ashamed of kids who misbehave. That is because kids are now identified as mirrors of how they are raised and what kind of people their parents are, so to some extent, the success of the child has become a spiritual aspiration, as well as a burden, of parents.

    In summary, I think it is harder for parents to raise children now than 50 years ago.

    August 18, 2020 at 4:10 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    3. Word choice errors
    4. Preposition errors

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Julia
    University: BJUT
    Nationality: China
    August 19, 2020 at 2:58 am

    Since the standard of living has improved, it is easier for parents nowadays to meet their children’s fundamental needs of life. However, I agree that modern families now suffer from more stressors and challenges, and they are under the double burden of material and spiritual anxieties in recent years.

    Firstly, in terms of objects, education has increasingly become a massive expense in bringing up a child. Modern families in China are trying their best to give all the advantages they could to increase their children’s chances of going to a better college. For example, many of them would like to take some refresher courses for their kids, or buy houses that are nearby the school or even let kids attend private high schools.

    All these happen because money and resources that go into education might help their children enhance academic performance. Children have taken a step closer to the college of their choices by having better access to college entrance exams. However, all these costs are confined to today’s parents, and therefore, they create more anxieties from crippling demands for those substances. Whereas, parents in the past with no preconceived notions about this type of education may have never been in this hardship.

    Secondly, parents also have mental stresses apart from physical pressures. If they pay more attention to their work, it is hard to focus more on binding with their kids, especially when education outcomes have now turned into an essential part in raising a kid. For instance, one of the core topics when adults gather together is about their children. Parents would be proud of their great children and ashamed of kids who misbehave. Kids are now identified as mirrors of how they are raised and what kind of people their parents are, so to some extent, the success of a child has become a spiritual aspiration, as well as a burden of parents.

    Some might believe there will be fewer burdens on parents if they only have one or two children, but the time and effort they dedicate for one kid today will be many times more than three kids before. In summary, I think it is harder for parents to raise children now than 50 years ago.

    August 19, 2020 at 4:08 pm

    Score: 64.6

    Issues:

    1. About 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    3. Wordy – remove unnecessary words and simplify sentences to make writing clear.
    4. Use some phrases incorrectly

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Julia
    University: BJUT
    Nationality: China
    August 20, 2020 at 5:29 am

    Since the standard of living has improved, it is easier for parents nowadays to meet their children’s fundamental needs. However, I agree that modern families now suffer from more stressors and challenges, and they are under the double burden of material and spiritual anxieties in recent years.

    Firstly, in terms of objects, education has now become a massive expense in bringing up a child. For example, parents prefer to take refresher courses for their kids, buy houses nearby or even let kids attend private high schools.

    All these happen because money and resources go into education might help enhance academic performance. Children have taken a step closer to their ideal college by having better access to college entrance exams. However, all these are just confined to today’s parents, creating lots of anxieties from crippling demands for those substances. Whereas, parents 50 years ago may have never been in this type of hardship.

    Secondly, parents also have mental stresses apart from physical pressures. If they pay more attention to their work, it is hard to focus more on binding with their kids, especially when education outcomes have now turned into an essential part of raising a kid. For instance, one of the core topics when adults gather together, is about their children. Parents would be proud of their great children and ashamed of kids who misbehave. Kids are considered as mirrors of what kind of people their parents are, so sometimes, children’s achievements will become a spiritual aspiration, as well as a burden of parents.

    Some might believe there will be fewer burdens on parents if they only have one or two children, but the time and effort they dedicate for one kid today will be many times more than three kids before.

    In short, I support that it is harder for parents to raise children now than 50 years ago.

    August 20, 2020 at 11:20 am

    Since the standard of living has improved, it is easier for parents nowadays to meet their children’s (fundamental needs) [unclear; specify  ]. However, I agree that modern families now suffer from more stressors [ word choice error ] and challenges, and they are under the double burden of material and spiritual anxieties in recent years [grammatical error  ].

    Firstly, in terms of objects [word choice  ], education has now become a massive expense in bringing up a child. For example, parents prefer to (take refresher courses for their kids) [ logical confusion ], buy houses nearby [unclear  ]or even let kids attend private high schools.

    All these happen because (money and resources) [ unclear/money is financial resource ] go into education might help [ grammatical error ]enhance (academic performance) [ unclear ]. Children have taken a step closer to their ideal college by having better access to college entrance exams [confusion/rephrase  ]. However, all these are just confined to today’s parents, creating lots of anxieties (from crippling demands for those substances) [ unclear ]. Whereas, parents 50 years ago may have [ grammatical error ] never been in this type of hardship.

    Secondly, parents also have mental stresses [word form error  ]apart from physical pressures [ word form error ]. If they pay more attention to their work [ grammatical error/subjunctive ], it is [ grammatical error ] hard to focus more on binding with their kids, especially when education outcomes have now turned into an essential part of raising a kid. For instance, one of the core topics when adults gather together, [ punctuation error ](is about) [replace with concrete verb  ] their children. Parents [ absolute statement/use conditional writing ]would be proud of their great [  unclear word]children and ashamed of kids who misbehave. (Kids are considered as mirrors of what kind of people their parents are) [ Kids mirror parents in terms of… ], so sometimes, children’s achievements will [grammatical error  ] become a spiritual aspiration, as well as a burden of parents.

    Some might believe there will be fewer burdens [word form/grammatical error  ]on parents if they only have [ grammatical error ](one or two children) [ confusion/one children? ], but the time and effort they dedicate for [wrong preposition  ] one kid today will [ grammatical error ]be many times more than three kids before.

    In short, I support that it [ unclear pronoun/use a noun and simplify the sentence ]is harder for parents to raise children now than 50 years ago.