Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is easier for parents to raise their children today than 50 years ago.
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September 19, 2020 at 3:08 am
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is easier for parents to raise their children today than 50 years ago.
At present, with the accelerating development of our society, there is no doubt that people have to face more pressure from society than before. There are some views claimed that people raise their children much easier than 50 years ago. In my point of view, I concede that it’s more difficult for current parents to bring up a child well than before.
Firstly, with the advent of modernization, the society has much higher requirements for education. Present people are pressured with tremendous amount of competition. Therefore, children’s education could not fall behind. Current children have more choices in education than before. Compared with 50 years ago, because of the restriction of social development, most of children they did not have opportunities to go to school. However, excavating one child’s potential talent also require solid financial support. So the good education environment produces lots of chances to current children, but it also brings much more stress for modern people.
Secondly, financial issue is always the biggest problem of raising a child. It’s not uncommon that many young people have decent jobs, but they still can not cope with their daily life expenses. Nowadays, almost everything has a rise in price, at the same time, earning money is harder than before. And if a family prepare to raise a child, since the mother got pregnant, the family would spend lots of money on the hospital or the nutritious food to ensure the baby is healthy. Consequently, economic problem could be more challenging for modern family .
Finally, as high technical products emerge in endlessly, children are easy to become addicted. At present, almost everyone has one mobile phone. Because adults are always busy with their work. It’s easily for parents to ignore the fact that children are addicted to video games or playing phone. Therefore, present parents they have to take more time to care about children’s mental health.
In conclusion,it’s definitely not easy for anyone to bringing up children well. Because the development of all aspects of society, raising a child is much more difficult than 50 years ago.
September 19, 2020 at 7:37 pmPartial revision – your essay is wordy; remove all unnecessary words/phrases.
At present, with[With ] the accelerating development of our society, there is no doubt that [ many ] people have to face more pressure from society than before. There are some viewsclaimedthat people raise their children much easier than 50 years ago. In my point of view,I concede thatit’s more difficult for current parents to bring up a childwellthan before.Firstly, with the advent of modernization, the society has much higher requirements for education. Present people are pressured with tremendous amount of competition. Therefore, children’s education could not fall behind. Current children have more choices in education than before. Compared with 50 years ago, because of the restriction of social development, most of children they did not have opportunities to go to school. However, excavating one child’s potential talent also require solid financial support. So the good education environment produces lots of chances to current children, but it also brings much more stress for modern people.
Secondly, financial issue is always the biggest problem of raising a child. It’s not uncommon that many young people have decent jobs, but they still can not cope with their daily life expenses. Nowadays, almost everything has a rise in price, at the same time, earning money is harder than before. And if a family prepare to raise a child, since the mother got pregnant, the family would spend lots of money on the hospital or the nutritious food to ensure the baby is healthy. Consequently, economic problem could be more challenging for modern family .
Finally, as high technical products emerge in endlessly, children are easy to become addicted. At present, almost everyone has one mobile phone. Because adults are always busy with their work. It’s easily for parents to ignore the fact that children are addicted to video games or playing phone. Therefore, present parents they have to take more time to care about children’s mental health.
In conclusion,it’s definitely not easy for anyone to bringing up children well. Because the development of all aspects of society, raising a child is much more difficult than 50 years ago.
September 19, 2020 at 7:41 pmScore: ungraded
Issues:
- About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
- About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
September 20, 2020 at 3:59 amWith the accelerating development of our society, there is no doubt that many people have to face more pressure from society than before. There are some views that raising present children much easier than 50 years ago. As far as I’m concerned, it’s more challenging for current parents to bring up a child than before.
Initially, with the advent of modernization, the society has much higher requirements for education. Present people are facing great amount of competition. Therefore, children’s education could not fall behind. Current kids have more choices in education. For example, some private schools have more abundant educational resources than most public schools, but the tuition fee in private school also more expensive than public school. However, compared with 50 years ago, because of the restriction of society, most children did not have opportunities to go to school. So the satisfying education environment produces more chances for current children, but it also brings more stress for parents.
Besides, economic issue is always the biggest problem of raising a child. It’s not uncommon that many young people have decent jobs, but they still can not cope with their current expenses. Nowadays, almost everything has a rise in price, at the same time, earning money is more tough than before. And if a family prepare to raise a child, the family would spend lots of money on the hospital or the nutritious food since the mother got pregnant. Consequently, raising a child really demand an adequate financial support.
What’s more, children are easy to become addicted because high technical products emerge in endlessly. Most children have poor self-control and adults are always busy with their work. It’s harder for parents to focus all the time on their children’s every behavior and thought. This is why balancing family and work is a constant problem.
In conclusion, although there is no denying that raising a child is not easy in any age. Because the development of all aspects of society, raising a child is much more complicated than 50 years ago.
October 2, 2020 at 5:07 pmWith the accelerating development of our society,
there is no doubt that[ redundant ]many people have to face more (pressure from society) [ unclear ] than before. [missing a transition ]There are some views [but there is only 1 view? ] that raising present children much easier [ grammatical error] than 50 years ago.As far as I’m concerned, it’s more challenging for current parents to bring up a child than before.[ With respect, I disagree. ]Initially, with the advent of modernization, the society has much higher requirements for education. Present people are facing great amount of competition. Therefore, children’s education could not fall behind. Current kids have more choices in education. For example, some private schools have more abundant educational resources than most public schools, but the tuition fee in private school also more expensive than public school. However, compared with 50 years ago, because of the restriction of society, most children did not have opportunities to go to school. So the satisfying education environment produces more chances for current children, but it also brings more stress for parents.
Besides, economic issue is always the biggest problem of raising a child. It’s not uncommon that many young people have decent jobs, but they still can not cope with their current expenses. Nowadays, almost everything has a rise in price, at the same time, earning money is more tough than before. And if a family prepare to raise a child, the family would spend lots of money on the hospital or the nutritious food since the mother got pregnant. Consequently, raising a child really demand an adequate financial support.
What’s more, children are easy to become addicted because high technical products emerge in endlessly. Most children have poor self-control and adults are always busy with their work. It’s harder for parents to focus all the time on their children’s every behavior and thought. This is why balancing family and work is a constant problem.
In conclusion, although there is no denying that raising a child is not easy in any age. Because the development of all aspects of society, raising a child is much more complicated than 50 years ago.
October 2, 2020 at 5:12 pmPartial revision [Reason: verbose]
