It is easier to become an educated person now than it was in the past

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing It is easier to become an educated person now than it was in the past

  • Nancyyyyy
    University: aa
    Nationality: aa
    September 1, 2020 at 1:11 pm

    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is easier to become an educated person now than it was in the past.

    From the past to nowadays, never shall people fail to pour their attention to(place their emphasis on) expand their knowledge base. Then, some people find that it is much easier for them to acquire knowledge nowadays that they did in the past. I support this idea without hesitation.

    First of all, nowadays advancing(cutting-edge) technology enables people to get much access to comprehensive knowledge. To be specific, people can get chances to figure out the principles behind many daily phenomena only by entering search keywords online. As a result, they can accumulate different knowledge. In contrast, people only get limited knowledge by checking books and asking their teachers. Take me as an example. I once went to a park near my home after school. I found a really interesting phenomenon: one kind of insect just stands on the surface of the water. Then, I took out my phone and searched it using google. Then, I figured out that the principle behind this phenomenon is a force between water molecules. As a result, I accumulate knowledge of chemistry using convenient internet.

    What is more, nowadays society is advanced enough for most children to get chances to be educated. Adding more details, with the development of society, people have enough money and resources to send their children to school and governments take the policy to ensure that every child can get nine-year education. But, in the past, many children cannot go to school because of the expensive tuition. That affects the education level to a great extent in the past. For instance, my grandmother cannot read or write any words except her name. The reason is that her family is too poor to afford the tuition and the government did not take any action to subsidize them. So, she always tells me to cherish the happy life in today’s society.

    All in all, people can be educated more easily than they can in the past since they not only get much access to knowledge but also get chances to be educated.

    September 2, 2020 at 9:07 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    3. Too many transition phrases
    4. Make your argument clear in the introduction, why do you support this idea?
    5. Wordy – remove unnecessary words

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Nancyyyyy
    University: aa
    Nationality: aa
    September 3, 2020 at 7:16 am

    From the past to nowadays, never shall people fail to place their emphasis on expanding their knowledge base. Then, some people find that it is much easier for them to acquire knowledge nowadays than they did in the past. I support this idea without hesitation since today’s cutting-edge society provide students many unique chances to learn

    First of all, nowadays advancing technology gives people much access to comprehensive knowledge. People can figure out the principles behind many daily phenomena only by entering search keywords online. As a result, they can accumulate different knowledge. Take me as an example. I once went to a park near my home after school. I found an interesting phenomenon: one kind of insect stands on the surface of the water. Then, I took out my phone and searched it using google. I figured out that the principle of this phenomenon is a force between water molecules. As a result, I accumulate knowledge of chemistry using convenient internet. However, in the past, the educational level of teachers and content of book restricted people’s available knowledge.

    What is more, nowadays, society is advanced enough for most children to have the right of education. Now, people have enough money and resources to send their children to school. And governments formulate the policy to ensure that every child can get nine-year education. But, in the past, many children cannot go to school because of the expensive tuition. That affects the education level to a great extent in the past. For instance, my grandmother cannot read or write any words except her name. The reason is that her family is too poor to afford the tuition. And the government did not take any action to subsidize them. So, she always tells me to cherish the happy life in today’s society.

    All in all, people can be knowledgeable more easily than they can in the past since they not only get much access to knowledge but also get chances to become educated.

    September 3, 2020 at 5:18 pm

    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is easier to become an educated person now than it was in the past.

    From the past to nowadays[grammatical error  ], never shall[tense error  ] people fail to place their emphasis on expanding their knowledge base. Then, some people find that (it is )[ redundant-Rephrase IT IS ADJECTIVE ]much easier for them to acquire knowledge nowadays than they[misinterpreted the prompt  ] did in the past. I support this idea[ unclear-what idea ] without hesitation since today’s (cutting-edge society)[ makes no sense ] provide students many unique chances to learn[punctuation error  ]

    First of all, nowadays advancing technology gives people much access to comprehensive knowledge. People can figure out the principles behind many daily phenomena only by entering search keywords online. As a result, they can accumulate different knowledge. Take me as an example. I once went to a park near my home after school. I found an interesting phenomenon: one kind of insect stands on the surface of the water. Then, I took out my phone and searched it using google. I figured out that the principle of this phenomenon is a force between water molecules. As a result, I accumulate knowledge of chemistry using convenient internet. However, in the past, the educational level of teachers and content of book restricted people’s available knowledge.

    What is more, nowadays, society is advanced enough for most children to have the right of education. Now, people have enough money and resources to send their children to school. And governments formulate the policy to ensure that every child can get nine-year education. But, in the past, many children cannot go to school because of the expensive tuition. That affects the education level to a great extent in the past. For instance, my grandmother cannot read or write any words except her name. The reason is that her family is too poor to afford the tuition. And the government did not take any action to subsidize them. So, she always tells me to cherish the happy life in today’s society.

    All in all, people can be knowledgeable more easily than they can in the past since they not only get much access to knowledge but also get chances to become educated.

    September 3, 2020 at 5:25 pm

    Partial revision. All sentences are problematic.

    Nancyyyyy
    University: aa
    Nationality: aa
    September 5, 2020 at 7:14 am

    From ancient times to the present, people never fail to pour their attention to expand their knowledge base. Then, some people believe that acquiring knowledge is easier now than in the past, while others hold the opposite idea. From my perspective, the former view is more reasonable, especially when the following reasons support it.

    First of all, people receive much access to comprehensive knowledge through nowadays advancing technology. People can learn something new at all times and places with an online information base. As a result, they can accumulate different knowledge. Take me as an example. I once went to a park near my home. I found an interesting phenomenon. One kind of insect stands on the surface of the water. Then, I took out my phone and searched it using google. I figured out that the principle of this phenomenon is a force between water molecules. As a result, I accumulated knowledge of chemistry using convenient internet. However, in the past, the educational level of teachers and the content of books restricted people’s available knowledge.

    What is more, nowadays, advanced society ensures most children’s rights to education. Now, people have enough money and resources to send their children to school. And governments formulate the policy to ensure that every child can get nine-year education. But, in the past, many children failed to go to school because of the expensive tuition, that affected the educational level to a great extent in the past. For instance, my grandmother cannot read or write any words except her name since her family lacked the money to send her to a school. And the government took nothing to subsidize them.

    True, people may state that nowadays, children addict to advanced devices such as phones.  So, they have less passion to study than they did in the past. However, parents can solve this problem with a little effort. They can limit the time of playing games online for their children and guide their children to use these devices properly, like reading books online. As a result, the technology becomes a useful tool to help these students acquire knowledge.

    All in all, people can be knowledgeable more easily than they can in the past since they not only get much access to knowledge but also enjoy the rights to education.

    September 8, 2020 at 9:49 pm

    From ancient times to the present, people never fail to pour their attention to expand [ grammatical error ] their knowledge base. Then, some people believe that acquiring knowledge is easier now than in the past, [punctuation error  ]while others hold the opposite idea. From my perspective, the former view [ specific  ]is more reasonable, [ punctuation error ]especially when the following reasons [ summarize the reasons in the introductory paragraph ]support it[ unclear pronoun ].

    First of all, people receive much access to comprehensive knowledge through nowadays advancing technology[unclear  ]. People can learn something new at all times and places with an online information base. As a result, they can accumulate different knowledge. Take me as an example. I once went to a park near my home. I found an interesting phenomenon. One kind of insect stands on the surface of the water. Then, I took out my phone and searched it using google. I figured out that the principle of this phenomenon is a force between water molecules. As a result, I accumulated knowledge of chemistry using convenient internet. However, in the past, the educational level of teachers and the content of books restricted people’s available knowledge.

    What is more, nowadays, advanced society ensures most children’s rights to education. Now, people have enough money and resources to send their children to school. And governments formulate the policy to ensure that every child can get nine-year education. But, in the past, many children failed to go to school because of the expensive tuition, that affected the educational level to a great extent in the past. For instance, my grandmother cannot read or write any words except her name since her family lacked the money to send her to a school. And the government took nothing to subsidize them.

    True, people may state that nowadays, children addict to advanced devices such as phones.  So, they have less passion to study than they did in the past. However, parents can solve this problem with a little effort. They can limit the time of playing games online for their children and guide their children to use these devices properly, like reading books online. As a result, the technology becomes a useful tool to help these students acquire knowledge.

    All in all, people can be knowledgeable more easily than they can in the past since they not only get much access to knowledge but also enjoy the rights to education.

    September 8, 2020 at 9:52 pm

    Partial revision. Most sentences are problematic.