Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

  • Yiran Huang
    University: yinghua international school
    Nationality: Chinese
    April 15, 2020 at 4:48 am

    Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

    Nowadays, the technology of information transfer has developed much rapidly than before. People know everything that happened in the day without going outside. Whether individuals will benefit from the sharing of information or not has become a controversial topic. Some think it is crucial to let everyone heard the academic and technological ideas from worldwide, while I think societies have to judge to share the right pieces of messages to citizens.

    It is undeniable that sharing information among people has many advantages. Knowing the business information will make trades more transparent. For example, customers won’t buy a broken car in the second-car market as people already know which supplier is trustworthy. What’s more, sharing information on scientific research may benefit public citizens. Some basic knowledge like how to do first-aid can help people when they are in danger. Also, governments can always hear mixed opinions when they publish information about new laws. Various comments allow policymakers to understand what residents need.

    On the other hand, sharing information may harm some people’s profit. Firms are reluctant to share their innovative ideas with other companies since most firms want to increase their competitiveness. A typical example is coco-cola that keeps its recipe as a secret for many years to enhance brand loyalty. Moreover, academic messages are not valuable for everybody. For example, artists may never use advanced medical skills in their lives. In other words, professional information may be meaningless for many individuals. Besides, companies share information with each other may harm customers’ rights. A cartel will appear when companies communicate to set an extremely high price for essential goods.

    To sum up, individuals need to distinguish between valuable and valueless information. Sometimes the exposure of information may let many people suffer.

    April 15, 2020 at 10:04 pm

    Score: 47.3

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Yiran Huang
    University: yinghua international school
    Nationality: Chinese
    April 17, 2020 at 11:21 am

    Nowadays, the technology of information transfer has developed much rapidly than before. People know everything that happened in the day without going outside. It is hard to tell whether individuals will benefit from the sharing of information. Some people think it is crucial to let everyone heard academic and technological ideas worldwide. In contrast, I think governments have to judge to share the right pieces of messages to citizens.

    It is undeniable that sharing information among people has many advantages. Knowing the business information will make trades more transparent. For example, customers won’t buy a low-quality car in the second-car market. One reason for that is people already knew which supplier is trustworthy. What’s more, sharing information on scientific research may benefit public citizens. Some basic knowledge like how to do first-aid can help people when they are in danger. Also, governments can always hear mixed voices when they publish information about new laws. Various comments allow policymakers to understand what residents need.

    On the other hand, sharing information may harm some people’s profit. Firms are reluctant to share their innovative ideas since most industries want to improve their competitiveness. A typical example is coco-cola that keeps its recipe as a secret for many years to enhance brand loyalty. Moreover, academic messages are not valuable for everybody. For example, artists may never use advanced medical skills in their lives. In other words, professional information may be meaningless for many individuals. Besides, companies share information among them may harm customers’ rights. A cartel will appear if companies communicate to set an extremely high price for essential goods.

    To sum up, individuals need to distinguish between valuable and valueless information. Sometimes the exposure of information may let many people suffer.

    April 22, 2020 at 2:25 am

    Score: 49.3

    Nowadays, the technology of information transfer has developed much [ wrong word ]rapidly than before. People know everything that happened in the day without going outside. [ disconnected from the prior sentence ]It is hard to tell whether individuals will benefit from the sharing of information. Some people think it is crucial to let everyone heard[ word form error ] academic and technological ideas worldwide[unclear  ]. In contrast, I think governments have to (judge to share the right pieces )[ unclear ]of messages to citizens.

    It is undeniable that sharing information among people has many advantages. Knowing the business information will make trades more transparent.[grammatical error  ] For example, customers won’t buy a low-quality car in the second-car market. One reason for that is people already knew which supplier is trustworthy. What’s more, sharing information on scientific research may benefit (public citizens)[awkward writing  ]. Some basic knowledge like how to do first-aid can help people when they are in danger. Also, governments can always hear mixed voices when they publish information about new laws. Various comments allow policymakers to understand what residents need.

    On the other hand, sharing information may harm some people’s profit. Firms are reluctant to share their innovative ideas since most industries want to improve their competitiveness. A typical example is coco-cola[spelling  ] that keeps[tense error  ] its recipe as a secret for many years to enhance brand loyalty. Moreover, academic messages are not valuable for everybody. For example, artists may never use advanced medical skills in their lives. In other words, professional information may be meaningless for many individuals. Besides, companies share information among them may harm customers’ rights. A cartel will appear if companies communicate to set an extremely high price for essential goods.

    To sum up, individuals need to distinguish between valuable and valueless information. Sometimes the exposure of information may let many people suffer.

    This essay is hard to understand. You need to rephrase most of the sentences. 

    Yiran Huang
    University: yinghua international school
    Nationality: Chinese
    April 22, 2020 at 11:09 am

    Nowadays, the technology of information transfer has developed more rapidly than before. Without going outside, people know the things that happened in the world. It is hard to tell whether individuals will benefit from the sharing of information. Some people think it is crucial to let everyone hear academic and technological ideas from the world. In contrast, I think governments have to control and share the right and valuable pieces of messages to citizens.
    It is undeniable that sharing information among people has many advantages. Knowing the business information will make trades more transparent. For example, customers won’t buy a low-quality car in the second-car market. One reason for that is people already knew which supplier is trustworthy. What’s more, sharing information on scientific research may benefit citizens. Some basic knowledge like how to do first-aid can help people when they are in danger. Also, governments can always hear mixed voices when they publish information about new laws. Various comments allow policymakers to understand what residents need.
    On the other hand, sharing information may harm some people’s profit. Firms are reluctant to share their innovative ideas since most industries want to improve their competitiveness. A typical example is Coca Cola that kept its recipe as a secret for many years to enhance brand loyalty. Moreover, academic messages are not valuable for everybody. For example, artists may never use advanced medical skills in their lives. In other words, professional information may be meaningless for many individuals. Besides, companies share information among them may harm customers’ rights. A cartel will appear if companies communicate to set an extremely high price for essential goods.
    To sum up, individuals need to distinguish between valuable and valueless information. Sometimes the exposure of information may let many people suffer.

    Yiran Huang
    University: yinghua international school
    Nationality: Chinese
    April 22, 2020 at 11:19 am

    Nowadays, the technology of information transfer has developed more rapidly than before. Without going outside, people can know the things that happened in the world. It is hard to tell whether individuals will benefit from the sharing of information. Some people think it is crucial to let everyone hear academic and technological ideas from the world. In contrast, I think governments have to control and share the right and valuable pieces of messages to citizens.
    It is undeniable that sharing information among people has many advantages. Knowing the business information will benefit consumers. For example, customers won’t buy a broken car in the car market. One reason for that is people already knew which supplier is trustworthy. What’s more, sharing information on scientific research may benefit citizens. Some basic knowledge like how to do first-aid can help people when they are in danger. Also, publish information about new laws freely can let the government hear mixed voices. Various comments allow policymakers to understand what residents need.
    On the other hand, sharing information may harm some people’s profit. Firms are reluctant to share their innovative ideas since most industries want to improve their competitiveness. A typical example is Coca Cola that kept its recipe as a secret for many years to enhance brand loyalty. Moreover, reading academic messages may mean a waste of time for many people. In other words, professional information may be meaningless for many individuals. For example, artists may never use advanced medical skills in their lives. Besides, companies share information among them may harm customers’ rights. A cartel will appear if companies communicate to set an extremely high price for essential goods.
    To sum up, individuals need to distinguish between valuable and valueless information. Sometimes the free exposure of information may let many people suffer.

    April 22, 2020 at 4:18 pm

    Score: 53.5

    Final Revision

    Nowadays, the technology of information transfer has developed more rapidly than before. Without going outside, people can know the things that happened in the world. It is hard to tell whether individuals will benefit from the sharing of information. [ logically disconnected from the prior sentence  ]Some people think it is crucial to let everyone hear/learn academic and technological ideas from the world. In contrast [wrong transitory word   ], I think governments have to control and share the right and valuable pieces of messages to citizens.

    It is undeniable that sharing information among people has many advantages. Knowing the business information will benefit consumers [ grammatical error  ]. F, for example, customers won’t buy a broken car in the car market. One reason for that is that people already knew which supplier is trustworthy. What’s more, sharing information on/concerning scientific research may benefit citizens. Some basic knowledge like how to do first-aid can help people when they are in danger. Also, publish [  word form error ] information about new laws freely [wrong word   ] can let the government hear mixed voices. Various comments allow policymakers to understand what residents need.

    On the other hand, sharing information may harm some people’s profit/interests. Firms are reluctant to share their innovative ideas since most industries want to improve their competitiveness. A typical example is Coca Cola that kept its recipe as a secret for many years to enhance brand loyalty. Moreover, reading academic messages may mean a waste of time for many people. In other words, professional information may be meaningless for many individuals. For example, artists may never use advanced medical skills in their lives. Besides, companies share information among them may harm customers’ rights. A cartel will appear if companies communicate [  wrong word ] to set an extremely high price for essential goods.

    To sum up, individuals need to distinguish between valuable and valueless information. Sometimes the free exposure of information may let many people suffer.