Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

  • davincispencil
    University: Xi'an Jiaotong
    Nationality: Chinese
    September 15, 2020 at 12:37 pm

    Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

    It’s true that sharing information is vitally important in many fields. While there are several advantages of sharing as much information as possible in scientific research and academic world, I would argue that some valuable information should not be open to the public in business.

    The supporters of sharing all news in these three fields might have various reasons. In scientific research, most experiments require expensive equipment and highly trained employees; if the scientist can get the newest information of other similar projects, he can set his experiments up based on existent work and spend his expenditure on the really unknown fields. Meanwhile, in the academic world, with the state-of-the-art techniques and open-source codes, postgraduates and PHD students could push the academic research frontiers much easier. Beside, in business, the board of a company can make more accurate and comprehensive decisions, if they could have the up-to-date business information and market trend.

    But several problems may arise, if too much confidential information is open to the pubic in business world. As we all know, every successful company has its own core techniques to keep it competitive in the market. If these techniques are all shared, there is no doubt that this company will lose its competition and market rapidly. On the other side, some small companies might think that they could just wait for other company’s research results and save their own research spending, as all information will be shared. And this will certainly limit the creation and innovation in society.

    In conclusion, although there are many benefits to share all information in these three fields, I believe that some confidential information should not be shared in business.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    September 23, 2020 at 9:19 pm

    Score: 53

    Issues:

    1. About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    davincispencil
    University: Xi'an Jiaotong
    Nationality: Chinese
    September 26, 2020 at 7:19 am

    Indeed, sharing information is vitally important in many fields. While there are several advantages of sharing as much information as possible in scientific research and the academic world, I would argue that some valuable technologies should not be open to the public in business.

    The supporters of sharing all news in these three fields might have various reasons. In scientific research, most experiments require expensive equipment and highly trained employees. if the scientist could get the newest information about other similar projects, he can set his experiments up based on the existent works and thus reduce his expenditure on equipment and employee. Meanwhile, in the academic world, with open-source codes, Ph.D. students and professors can push the academic research frontiers much easier. Besides, in business, the board can make comprehensive investment decisions, if they could have the up-to-date market trend.

    But if too much confidential information is open to the public in the business world, several problems may arise consequently. As we all know, every successful company has its core techniques to keep it competitive in the market. Once these techniques are all shared, there is no doubt that this company will lose its competition and marketing rapidly. Furthermore, as all information will be shared, some small companies might think that they could just wait for other companies’ research results and save their research expense. And consequently the creation and innovation in society will certainly be limited)

    In conclusion, although there are many benefits to share all information in these three fields, I believe that companies should keep their core techniques secret to retain their competitiveness in marketing.

    PS: I have tried my best to reduce the length of my sentences, but  4 of them still exceed 2o words.  Could you please give me some advices on shortening sentences and help me to check my logic of writing? Thank you very much !

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    October 1, 2020 at 3:26 am

    Indeed, sharing information is vitally important in many fields. While there are several advantages of sharing as much information as possible in scientific research and the academic world[such as the scientific and academic sectors.  ][ Even so,  ] I would argue that some valuable technologies should not be open to (the public in business)[unclear  ].

    The supporters of sharing all news in these three fields might have various reasons. In scientific research, most experiments require expensive equipment and highly trained employees. if[Spelling error  ] the[article error  ] scientist could get the newest information about other[redundant word  ] similar projects, he can set his experiments up based on the existent works and thus reduce his [ the ]expenditure on equipment and employee. Meanwhile, in the academic world[ Likewise ], with open-source codes, Ph.D. students and professors can push (the academic research)[  confusing] frontiers much easier. Besides, in business, the board can[ grammatical error – subjunctive ] make comprehensive investment decisions,[ punctuation error ] if they could have the (up-to-date)[ redundant ] market trend.

    But if too much confidential information is open to the public in the business world, several problems may arise consequently. As we all know, every successful company has its core techniques to keep it competitive in the market. Once these techniques are all shared, there is no doubt that this company will lose its competition and marketing rapidly. Furthermore, as all information will be shared, some small companies might think that they could just wait for other companies’ research results and save their research expense. And consequently the creation and innovation in society will certainly be limited)

    In conclusion, although there are many benefits to share all information in these three fields, I believe that companies should keep their core techniques secret to retain their competitiveness in marketing.

    PS: I have tried my best to reduce the length of my sentences, but  4 of them still exceed 2o words.  Could you please give me some advices on shortening sentences and help me to check my logic of writing? Thank you very much !

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    October 1, 2020 at 3:42 am

    Partial revision [ All sentences are problematic]

    davincispencil
    University: Xi'an Jiaotong
    Nationality: Chinese
    October 10, 2020 at 8:56 am

    Sharing information is vitally important in many fields and people have different views about sharing as much information as possible in areas like science and business. Although there are several advantages of sharing information as possible as we can in scientific research and the academic world, I would argue that some valuable technologies should not be shared in business.

    The supporters of sharing all news in these three fields might have various reasons. In terms of scientific research, many experiments require expensive equipment, as well as highly trained researchers. If scientists could get the newest results of similar projects, they can set up their experiments based on existent works and thus reduce the expenditure on equipment and recruitment. Likewise, with shared newest academic articles, Ph.D. students and professors can adopt the state-of-the-art techniques and advance the academic frontiers much easier. Besides, in business, the board of a company can make comprehensive investment decisions, if they could have as much marketing information as possible.

    But if too much confidential information is open to the public in business, several problems may arise consequently. As we all know, every successful company has its core techniques to keep it competitive in marketing. Once these techniques are all shared, there is no doubt that this company will lose its competition and marketing rapidly. Furthermore, as all information will be shared, some small companies might think that they could just wait for and imitate other companies’ new product designs and save their expense in the development and research sector. This imitation behaviour will further reduce all companies’ motivation to do product research and therefore limit the innovation in business.

    In conclusion, although there are many benefits to share all information in these three fields, I believe that, in business, companies should keep their core techniques secret to retain their competitiveness in marketing.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    October 14, 2020 at 4:04 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 55% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. Wordy – remove unnecessary words and phrases
    3. Make your argument clear in your introduction – provide some reasoning to back up your argument in the introduction.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    davincispencil
    University: Xi'an Jiaotong
    Nationality: Chinese
    October 15, 2020 at 3:30 am

    Sharing information helps us to know recent issues in related areas easily. But people have different views about sharing as much information as possible in fields like science and business. Although there are several advantages of sharing information as possible as we can in scientific research and the academic world, I would argue that companies  should not share some of their valuable technologies with others.

    The supporters of sharing all news in these three fields might have various reasons. In terms of scientific research, many experiments require expensive equipment, as well as highly trained researchers. If scientists could get the newest results of similar projects, they can set up their experiments based on works existent. And they can thus reduce equipment and recruitment expenditure. Likewise, with shared newest academic articles, professors can adopt state-of-the-art techniques and advance the research frontiers much easier. Besides, in business, the board of a company can make comprehensive investment decisions if they could have as much marketing information as possible.

    However, if too much confidential information is open to the public in business, several problems may arise. As we all know, every successful company has its core techniques to keep it competitive in marketing. Once these techniques are all shared, there is no doubt that this company will lose its competition and marketing soon. Furthermore, as other companies will share all their research news in detail, some small companies might think that they could just wait for and imitate other companies’ new product designs and save their expense in the development and research sector. This imitation behaviour will further reduce all companies’ motivation to do product research and stifle innovation in business.

    In conclusion, there are many benefits to share all information in all these three fields. But I believe that, in business, companies should keep their core techniques secret to maintain their competitiveness in marketing.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    October 16, 2020 at 3:02 pm

    Sharing information helps the public learn about key information, us to know recent issues in related areas easily. but some people we should be careful have different views about sharing as much information as possible in fields like science and business. Although there are several advantages of sharing information as possible as we can in scientific research and the academic world, I would argue that companies should not share some of their valuable technologies with others.

    The supporters of sharing all news in these three fields might have various reasons. The proponents of knowledge sharing have well-thought-out reasons to support their position. In terms of scientific research, many experiments require expensive equipment, as well as highly trained researchers. If scientists share experimental results openly could get the newest results of similar projects, they others can set up their experiments based on the shared results works existentAnd They can thus reduce equipment and recruitment expenditures. Likewise, with shared newest by sharing the latest academic articles, professors can adopt state-of-the-art techniques and advance the research frontiers much easier. Besides Additionally, in business, the board of a company can make comprehensive investment decisions if they could have as much marketing information as possible.

    However, if too much confidential information is open to the public in business, several problems may arise. As we all know, every successful company has its core techniques to keep it competitive in marketing. Once these techniques are all shared, there is no doubt that this companies will lose their competitive edge its competition and marketing soon. Furthermore, as other if large companies will share all their research news in detail, some small companies might think that they could just wait for and imitate other companies’ new product designs and save their expenses in the development and research sector. This imitation pattern behaviour will further reduce all companies’ motivation to do original product research and stifle innovation in business.

    In conclusion, there are many benefits to sharing e all information in all these three fields. But I believe that, in business, companies should keep their core techniques secret to maintain their competitiveness in marketing.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    October 16, 2020 at 3:09 pm

    Final revision