For the successful development of a country, it is more important for a government to spend money on the education of very young children (five to ten years old) than to spend money on universities.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing For the successful development of a country, it is more important for a government to spend money on the education of very young children (five to ten years old) than to spend money on universities.

  • Rickenqi
    University: Shanghai University
    Nationality: China
    April 15, 2020 at 3:32 am

    For the successful development of a country, it is more important for a government to spend money on the education of very young children (five to ten years old) than to spend money on universities.

    The talented people with special skills are the main force to develop a country. Some people think talent should be cultivated when we are still young kids, since gifted kids need to be trained very early. But that does not mean early education is more important than university education, when discussing the country’s development.

    To begin with, university is crucial for providing professional young people. University is the place where students attain frontier thesis and basic expertise. Young people are hard to become experts without such knowledge. To be specific, a qualified programmer needs to understand a lot of special knowledge like the theory of operating system and the data structure, which he can only learn in college. In addition, whether young people will become adepts is determined by the university’s education ability level. So, universities need more fund to provide better senior education for young people.

    Not only the quality of university education, but also the num of college students should be taken into account. The more experts in an industrial field, the more developed that field is. We cannot neglect that many smart young people still are not able to afford the tuition fee. Their potential will be wasted if they don’t receive college education. The famous mathematician Gauss had a poor family. If his tutor hadn’t discovered his talent and sent him to school, Gauss might not able to make so much contribution. Thus, more youngsters need to take college education and government should set subsidy to improve such situation.

    Finally, the frontier researches are also done by universities. The researches done by the professors provide the theory foundation for technology development. For example, the machine learning theory is studied by researchers for many years before it come into use. The models designed by famous professors are used by many companies to make profits, but the fundamental idea has never changed.

    April 17, 2020 at 1:18 am

    Score: 54.6

    Issues:

    1. About 25% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Rickenqi
    University: Shanghai University
    Nationality: China
    April 17, 2020 at 3:28 am

    Talented people with technical skills are the main force to develop a country. It is reasonable to assume that we should foster gifted kids’ talent when they are still little. But that does not mean early education is more important than the university education when discussing the country’s development.

    To begin with, universities are crucial for providing professional young people. University is the place where students attain frontier thesis and fundamental expertise. Young people are hard to become experts without such knowledge. To be specific, a qualified programmer needs to understand a lot of computer knowledge like the theory of operating system and the data structure, which he can only learn in college. Furthermore, whether young people will become adepts is determined by the university’s education ability level. So, universities need more funding to provide better senior education for college students.

    Not only the quality of university education, but also the num of college students is a determining factor to countries’ development. The more experts in an industrial field, the more developed that area is. We cannot neglect that many smart young people still are not able to afford the tuition fee. It is a waste of potential if they don’t receive college education. The famous mathematician Gauss’s family was very poor. If his tutor hadn’t discovered his talent and sent him to school, Gauss might weren’t able to make so much contribution. Thus, more youngsters need to take the college education and the government should set subsidies to improve such a situation.

    Finally, universities also support the researches of frontier theories. Professors’ persistent studies provide the theory foundation for technology development. For example, machine learning theories are studied by researchers for many years before it came into use. The models designed by famous professors are used by many companies to make profits, but the fundamental idea has never changed.

    April 18, 2020 at 3:01 pm

    Score: 49.4

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.