For the successful development of a country, it is more important for a government to spend money on the education of very young children (five to ten years old) than to spend money on universities.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing For the successful development of a country, it is more important for a government to spend money on the education of very young children (five to ten years old) than to spend money on universities.

  • kingstar
    University: 中国科学院大学
    Nationality: China
    September 7, 2020 at 9:21 am

    For the successful development of a country, it is more important for a government to spend money on the education of very young children (five to ten years old) than to spend money on universities. Use specific reasons and examples to support.

    An excellent mind and body need long time training. Some people argue that university deserves more investment from the government than children. In my opinion, I disagree with that point.

    To begin with, spending more money on young children can develop their employment skills. With the increasing competition of society, all industries need more high- caliber people. Youngling who have much flexibility should receive more education to meet social needs. In contrast, the potential of undergraduates has been drained and they can no longer accept new things. Take my cousin, Joe, for example. He learned computer programming skills when he was six years old. The continuous study enables him to have more experience than his classmates. Finally, he was invited to visit the Baidu company two years ago. By contrast, many undergraduates have no chance. They were considered too old to meet many- year developments of the giant.

    Furthermore, investing in children can develop their life habits. The enticement of society also increased with development, the children find it difficult to be far away from them. Therefore, the government needs to protect them from bad things. The increasing investment is an efficient way. They can build more schools and recruit more teachers. When they can sit in the classroom to receive education    than hang out on the street, all problems will be solved. According to the survey of Peking University in several cities this year. those places which pay more attention to the children had a lower crime rate than others. Not only did the school impart knowledge, but also the ability to self-discipline. As a result, It benefits them for many years.

    In conclusion, the government should allocate more money to the education of children. This is because they can meet social needs and should be disciplined.

    September 8, 2020 at 7:33 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Many sentences are unclearly written; even logically flawed.
    2. About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    September 8, 2020 at 7:36 pm

    Invalid [ You need to complete the revision of your first essay prior to working on this one.]