For the successful development of a country, it is more important for a government to spend money on the education of very young children(five to ten years old) than to spend money on universities.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing For the successful development of a country, it is more important for a government to spend money on the education of very young children(five to ten years old) than to spend money on universities.

  • aurevoir66666
    University: 上海理工大学
    Nationality: 上海理工大学
    April 17, 2020 at 2:41 am

    For the successful development of a country, it is more important for a government to spend money on the education of very young children(five to ten years old) than to spend money on universities.

    With the development of the economy and the maturity of the education system, the government has attached much importance to the investment in education, which has triggered a furious debate as to whether governments should spend more funds on young children than on college students. Some people state that young people deserve more investment since they are the future of the country. However, personally speaking, it is a better choice to investing in college students.

    To begin with, governments can get quicker return from the investment of college education. It’s widely known that the interval between people get trained and get work are shorter in college than in primary schools. So if governments put more money for college students to learn practical skills, these students can involved in related industries as soon as they get graduated. For instance, Confronting the problem that nurses are of great deficient in society, governments can increase the investment in related colleges for recruiting their student numbers. In this way, the country can have more professional nurses in short periods.

    On top of that, college students require much more expensive equipment for their research than primary school students do, because the results of the research are closely related to the quality of equipment they used. Specifically speaking, College students, especially those who major in science, physics and chemicals, often need advanced equipment to get more precise data through simpler procedures.

    Admittedly, elementary education plays a crucial role in the future of one’s life. However, to improve it, investment is not the best way. The key for the education of young children is to devote more time accompanying with them and be patient with their questions.

    From all mentioned above, I want to strengthen my conviction that the education are both important for young children and college students. What the government should do is to devote more time and energy to young children’s education and offer college students with more material supports.

    April 18, 2020 at 3:34 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.