It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

  • xzw
    University: HDU
    Nationality: China
    April 20, 2021 at 2:54 am

    It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    I believe we can not live without Internet. Obviously, Internet has already change the world, with social media, online video, everyone could obtain knowledge, share their personal experience, even be a potential reporter. However, I my point of view, we still can not ignore the significant of traditional way of traveling, although Internet already bring us a lot of conveniences.

    How could infrastructure have influence on our life in modern society? Take Belt and Road project for example, the commuter train of the forth largest city in Indonesia, which name is Bungdong is old and slow. But now, cutting through the hill that lead to the Indonesia’s capital, Jarkarta, there’s a tunnel for high-speed train that can travel for 215 miles an hour. The goal of Indonesia collaborating with China on Belt and Road project is to lift millions of its citizens out of poverty, and this project can create more jobs and spark development can help them reach the purpose, said by the minister of Indonesia. He also point out that because Indonesia is going to have new cities and suburbs, more improved infrastructure can enable the government to spread out its people to the area with new industry, new employment and new production. China can benefit from this project too. Baosteel is one of the state-owned enterprise of China, producing steel as much as the whole US. It is actually too much. Excess steel capacity has weigh down Chinese economy, but the Belt and Road Initiative gives Baosteel more market, solved the problem in a way. Two countries complement each other, support each other, and develop together, it is fundamentally a win-win project. In this example, it is particularly obvious that invest on transportation system can boost economy, solve social problem, and make a nation better place.

    In conclusion, I agree with government should spend more money on improving infrastructure. Because it can create more jobs, boost economy, lift people out of poverty, and make a country a more happiness place.

     

     

     

    April 20, 2021 at 12:04 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. Lengthy paragraphs; restrict each paragraph to 90 words. 

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.