It is more important to choose a subject that interests you than a subject that prepares you for a better job or career

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing It is more important to choose a subject that interests you than a subject that prepares you for a better job or career

  • 055144a
    University: 江南大学
    Nationality: 中国
    August 19, 2020 at 1:34 pm

    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important to choose a subject that interests you than a subject that prepares you for a better job or career.

    Nowadays, there are more and more subjects in the university and students usually have no idea about which one to choose. People always wonder whether it’s better to major in the subject they like than select the one which can help them to get a job. Personally, I believe choosing a major you are fond of is really important .

    Above all, majoring in what you are interested in can make you learn more happily and efficiently. The primary reason is that you will be eager to learn the knowledge and if you meet some problems the first thing you want to do is to overcome it. Taking my friend Mike for an example, he majors in chemistry which is his favorite subject in high school. It’s a enjoyable thing for him to do chemical experiments using the advanced equipment in our university. And unlike other students who are depressed by a large number of assignments, he can finish them quickly and happily .

    In addition, it can prolong the time you stay at your first job when you choose what you like. And this can bring a lot of great social effects. For example, the frictional unemployment will drastically reduce. According to a survey by a research team, students who major in what they don’t like show an average separation rate of 60% in the first year they start their job, whereas students choosing the major they are fond of have an average separation rate of 20%. Higher separation rate will increase the social burdens and is also unfavorable for individuals.

    Admittedly, majoring in the subject which can prepare you for a job may help you start your work faster and easier. But as you can see from the survey, lots of people don’t like the contents of the work and they quit it also more quickly.

    To sum up, I deem that people should choose the subjects they like as their major, especially when more happiness and efficiency they can get and the great social effects it can bring are taken into account.

    August 21, 2020 at 7:52 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 45% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 10% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    3. Make your argument clear in your introduction – why is it important to choose a major you like?
    4. Article errors
    5. Wordy – remove unnecessary words

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    August 24, 2020 at 12:47 am

    Pending