In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

  • ZHANG Weiran
    University: Zhejiang University
    Nationality: Chinese
    February 20, 2020 at 3:01 pm

    In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

    Nowadays, transportation is a popular topic all of the world, and people have different opinions on whether it is necessary to spend much money on constructing new railway lines between cities or improving existing public transport. This essay will try to discuss both views clearly and give my own opinion.

    Some people blieve spending a lot of money on new railway lines for very far trains between cities is a necessary thing. It means the communication between cities would be more and batter in the future than the time when money not be spent. If so, many people can travel, study and go shopping in another city and go back by train conveniently. Secondly, having a number of fast trains between cities can also help people who need to go to the other cities quickily to save time. If a person knew suddenly that one of his families who lived in another city was ill, he could go there to take care of the family member in short time.

    However, others think money need to be spent on developing existing public transport. It can makes people going out conveniently in daily lifes. To illustrate, money can be spent on building subway stations, and people can go to every parts of the city easily, working, exercising or having meals. In addition, it benefits the solution of traffic jam, because public transport can replace some cars, so people do not need to wait for long time on the way. In my hometown, taking bus is common ,and traffic jam hardly happens because of this choise.

    Personaly, I think money should be spent on public transport. It is because that is good for protecting environment from air pollution, and it is really important for us.

    February 20, 2020 at 4:08 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. More than 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. More than 30% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.