It’s a waste of money for the government to fund space travel or space exploration

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing It’s a waste of money for the government to fund space travel or space exploration

  • ZANGJING
    ZANGJING
    University: Hunan Institution of Technology
    Nationality: China
    August 2, 2020 at 2:23 am

    Do you agree or disagree? It’s a waste of money for the government to fund space travel or space exploration.

    Achievement of scientific research has been essential to show the power of a country and plays a crucial role in our future life. Some people advocate investing more funds in such scientific investigations, while others are at odds with it. From my perspective, the government should not waste time to fund space exploration, since there are more urgent issues to be fixed in.

    First and foremost, education is a much more urgent problem that governments face now. To be specific, national education lays the foundation for people’s lives that the government should pay close attention to it. Take a piece of news I have watched on television recently as an example. In the past, millions of children living in the backward places of my country were forced to drop out. However, hearing the news, the government of China allocated funds for covering the expense of these children. Finally, in recent years, not only do these children go back to school, but also the populace’s cultivation of our country is promoted. Without the help of the government, hardly could these children have opportunities to receive education again.

    Moreover, transportation is also a problem that needs to be dealt with without delay. It is the transportation, not the space exploration, which has been affecting our everyday life and has a direct influence on improving the living standard of people. For example, in my country, traffic jam is a serious problem. Driving cars to go outside always means taking risks to be late. Instead, if governments set amount of budget for building some public transportation, the traffic issue will be solved without any doubt. Thus, it is evident that governments should invest more livelihood issues like traffic.

    Last but not least, it is admitted that exploration of space can benefit the development of a country in some ways. Nevertheless, compared with other aspects, the development is not efficient at all because it costs too much money and gets just a bit of reward. Therefore, it is unreasonable to waste energy and money on celestial exploration.

    August 3, 2020 at 3:09 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Wordy – remove unnecessary words;
    2. Article errors;
    3. Word choice errors;
    4. About 35% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them;
    5. Lengthy paragraphs. Restrict each paragraph to 90 words;
    6. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.