Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It’s better to spend money enjoying life like going on vacation than to save money for the future.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It’s better to spend money enjoying life like going on vacation than to save money for the future.

  • Fairy
    University: xiamen university
    Nationality: china
    September 28, 2020 at 11:10 pm

    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It’s better to spend money enjoying life like going on vacation than to save money for the future.

    What does a healthy and positive lifestyle should be? The answer depends on people’s attitude toward their life. Someone believes that enjoying current life is the best answer for this question, no matter how much money will be spent on that. Conversely, some people hold the faith that stability of life is of the most essential. Thus, they more likely to save money for the future, in case of incidence. As far as I am concerned, spending money enjoying life is as important as saving money for the future.

    In the first place, everyone’s life is always comprised of the hard working and enjoyable recreation. Undoubtedly, a short period of time for relaxing is necessary. It renders an individual a treasured chance to free from heavy work and refresh himself. After the little breaking, not only the mental state of one but also his physical condition can be lifted to some extent. Thus, he or she could go back work in a perfect state. By contrast, a life occupied by endless working is meaningless and gloomy. Blindly and endlessly working and without the awareness of enjoying life, even the strongest man in the world will collapse. Just like the old motto said, All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

    On the other hand, overly extravagant on money is not wholesome. We should always prepare for the rainy when the day is sunny. Life is fluctuated, we couldn’t foresee what would be happen in the future. It is better to be well prepared than be in a hasted state when the hazards come to us. To illustrate, we may fall ill or have to quit the job in the future. When these situations accidentally happen, some deposits on the bank count will become the firm backup of us. It gives us a period of time for cushion before we step forward to the next stage of life.

    September 30, 2020 at 2:27 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 25% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Fairy
    University: xiamen university
    Nationality: china
    September 30, 2020 at 3:41 am

    What does a healthy and positive lifestyle should be? The answer depends on people’s attitude towards their life. Someone believes that enjoying current life is the best answer to this question.  Conversely, some people hold the belief that stability of life is of the most essential. Thus, they more likely to save money to prevent future accidents. In my opinion, spending money on enjoying life is as important as saving money for the future.

    In the first place, the positive lifestyle is working hard and enjoying hard. Undoubtedly, it is necessary to give ourself a period of time to relax. It renders an individual a treasured chance to free from heavy work and refresh himself. After the little breaking,  the mental state of one and his physical condition can be lifted to some extent. Thus, he or she could go back to  work in a perfect state. By contrast, a life occupied by endless working is meaningless and gloomy. Blindly and endlessly working and without the awareness of enjoying life, even the strongest man in the world will collapse. Just like the old motto said, All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

    On the other hand, overly extravagant on money is not wholesome. We should always prepare for the rain when the day is sunny. Life has its ups and downs, we couldn’t foresee what would happen in the future. It is better to be well prepared than be in a hasted state when the hazards come to us. To illustrate, we may fall ill or have to quit the job in the future. When these situations accidentally happen, some deposits on the bank count will become our solid backup. It gives us a cushion before we step forward to the next stage of life.

    September 30, 2020 at 3:50 pm

    Score: ungraded

    What does a healthy and positive lifestyle should be? The answer depends on people’s attitude [word form error  ] towards their life. Someone[wrong word  ] believes that enjoying current[ does anyone enjoy a past life? ] life is the best answer to this question.  Conversely, (some people)[ wrong phrase ] hold the belief [ redundant ] that stability of life is of the most essential[grammatical error  ] . Thus, they [  unclear] more likely[ grammatical error ] to save money to prevent future accidents. In my opinion, spending money on enjoying life is as important as saving money for the future.

    In the first place, (the positive lifestyle is working hard and enjoying hard)[logical confusion  ] . Undoubtedly, it[unclear pronoun  ] is necessary to give ourself[spelling error  ] a period of time to relax. It [ unclear pronoun ] renders an individual a treasured chance to free from heavy work and refresh himself. After the little[ wrong word ] breaking[ word form error ] , ( the mental state of one and his physical condition can be lifted)[ confusion ] to some extent. Thus, he or she could go back to work in a perfect state. By contrast, a life occupied by endless working[ word form error ] is meaningless and gloomy. (Blindly and endlessly working and without the awareness of enjoying life, even the strongest man in the world will collapse)[confusing/grammatical error  ] . Just like the old motto said, All [ spelling error ] work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

    On the other hand, overly extravagant on money is not wholesome[wrong word  ] . We should (always prepare for the rain when the day is sunny)[absolute statement  ] . Life has its ups and downs, we couldn’t foresee what would happen in the future.[lack transition  ] It[unclear pronoun  ] is better[ vague word ] to be well prepared than be in a hasted state when the[article error  ] hazards come to us. To illustrate, we may fall ill or have to quit the job in the future[ logically incomplete ] . When these (situations accidentally happen)[ logical confusion ] , some deposits on the bank count [ wrong word ] will become our solid backup. [lack coherence with the last sentence  ] It[unclear pronoun  ] gives us a cushion before we step forward to the next stage of life.

    Fairy
    University: xiamen university
    Nationality: china
    October 2, 2020 at 12:17 pm

    What does a healthy and positive lifestyle should be? Different people will give different answers. Some people believe that enjoying life is the best answer to this question.  Conversely, others hold that stability of life is the most eccential and are more likely to save money to prevent future accidents. In my opinion, spending money on enjoying life is as important as saving money for the future.

    In the first place, spending money on relaxing, like going on vacation, is beneficial to our mental and physical health. Certainly, stepping out from workplace and spending money on vacation renders an individual a treasured chance to release pressure and releave fatigue. After the rest, our mental and physical can be greatly improved. Therefore, we can come back to work in a perfect state. In contrast, a life occupied by endless work is meaningless and gloomy. If somebody blindly and endlessly work, he would finally collapse in the future.

    On the other hand, overly extravagant on money is not advisable and sustainable. Life has its ups and downs, we couldn’t foresee what would happen in the future. For preventing possible accidents in our life, we should prepare for the rain when the day is sunny. After all, it is better to be well prepared than be in a hasted state when hazards come to us. To illustrate, we may encounter some accidents, such as firing by boss or having serious illness. When these unfortunate incidents come to us, some deposits on the bank account will become our solid backup and give us a cushion before we step forward to the next stage of life. Consequently, saving money for the future is a sensible strategy that leads us to live a well life.

     

    In conclusion, overly spending money on enjoying life or unreasonably saving money for the future is a infeasible and unsustainable way to live life. By contrast, we could establish a sound lifestyle through effectively managing our money.

    October 2, 2020 at 3:22 pm

    What does a healthy and positive lifestyle should be?[ Grammatical error ] Different people will give different answers. Some people believe that enjoying life is the best answer to this question.  Conversely, others hold that stability of life is the most eccential[spelling error  ] and[ unparalleled  ] are more likely (to save money to prevent future accidents)[ logical confusion  ]. In my opinion, spending money on enjoying life is as important as saving money for the future.

    In the first place, spending money on relaxing[grammatical error/word form error   ], like going on vacation, (is beneficial to)[replace with one verb   ] our (mental and physical)[ redundant – Is there a 3rd health in addition to mental/physical health?  ] health. Certainly, stepping out from [  article error ]workplace and spending money on vacation (renders an individual a treasured chance )[confusion/renders and individual or renders a chance?   ]to release pressure and releave[wrong word/redundant   ] fatigue. After the rest, our mental and physical[  grammatical error ] can (be greatly improved)[ no need for passive  ]. Therefore, we can come back to work in a perfect state. In contrast, a life occupied by endless work is meaningless and gloomy. If somebody blindly and endlessly work[grammatical error – subjunctive   ], he would finally collapse in the future[ redundant /finally-in the future  ].

    On the other hand, (overly extravagant on money)[redundant/words duplicate in meaning   ] is (not advisable and sustainable)[unclear   ]. Life has its ups and downs, we could[word form error   ]n’t foresee what would happen in the future. For preventing[ wrong word/ prevent..from  ] possible accidents in our life, we should (prepare for the rain when the day is sunny)[unclear/use literal writing   ]. After all, it[ unclear pronoun  ] is better[vague   ] to be well prepared than be in a hasted state when hazards (come to us)[ wordy/replace with one verb  ]. To illustrate, we may encounter some accidents, [punctuation error   ]such as (firing by [article error   ]boss)[ use literal writing  ] or having [article error   ]serious illness. When these unfortunate incidents (come to us)[ repetition  ], some deposits on the bank account will[tense error   ] (become our solid backup and give us a cushion)[ duplicated meaning  ] before we step forward [ move  ]to the next stage of life. Consequently, saving money for the future is a sensible strategy that leads[ absolute statement/use conditional writing  ] us to live a well[ grammatical error  ] life.

    In conclusion, overly spending money on enjoying life or unreasonably saving money for the future is a[article error   ] infeasible and unsustainable way to live life. By contrast[logical confusion/change the phrase   ], we could establish a sound lifestyle through effectively managing our money.