It’s better to spend money enjoying life like going on vacation than to save money for the future.
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October 10, 2020 at 2:31 am
It’s better to spend money enjoying life like going on vacation than to save money for the future.
It not uncommon that many people, especially those young people, insist on spending money for enjoyment right away. Still, their one-sided opinion misleads many people and precisely ignore the importance of using money to avoid potential risks in future lives. In my mind, it is definitely necessary to save money for the future.
Money sometimes can save people from those unavoidable accidents since the future is unpredictable. My aunt, who lost her job as a salesperson for 3 months in 2008 because of the huge depression of the economy, did not suffer from hunger and homelessness while she did not have any income thanks to her habit of keeping 30% percent salary in every month which actually offered her basic support to overcome those dark days. Of course, it is true that without the deposit money, many people would feel no possibility to fight back and back to their steady lives under the sudden attack. That is, the necessary support of deposit money ensures basic support for their lives so that they can handle the accidents without worrying about their life safety and basic life balances.
Depositing money from daily life can be a strong financial support for my future child in getting a better education. Money can really make a difference in children’s education in their educational environments and personality developments. It would be easier for children to chase for whatever they want to learn like cello and piano with the help of a professional teacher without worrying about the expensive tutor fee. Their horizons can be broadened since they can choose to experiences foreign study environment which definitely would spend a great amount of money which cannot be paid with one-month salary if they like. On the contrary, without the strong financial support from family’s deposit money, children would surely lose those opportunities to develop themselves which would be a huge pity for both children and parents even though they lead a enjoyable life physically.
October 10, 2020 at 7:51 pmScore: ungraded
Issues:
- Lengthy paragraphs. Restrict each paragraph to 90 words.
- About 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
October 11, 2020 at 7:01 amIt not uncommon that many people, especially those young people, insist on spending money for enjoyment right away. Still, their one-sided opinion misleads many people and precisely ignore the importance of using money to avoid potential risks in future lives. In my mind, it is necessary to save money for the future.
Money can sometimes save people from those unavoidable accidents since the future is unpredictable. My aunt, who lost her job as a salesperson for 3 months in 2008 because of the 2008 global financial crisis, did not suffer from hunger and homelessness even though she did not have any income. Thanks to her habit of keeping 30% percent salary in every month, she actually uses those money to support her to overcome those dark days. It is for sure that without the deposit money, many people would feel hopeless to fight back and restart their steady lives after the sudden attack of the financial crisis. That is, deposit money can be the necessity for ensuring the basic support for their lives so that they can handle the accidents easily without worrying about their life safety and basic life balances.
Depositing money from daily life can offer a strong financial support for my future child in getting a better education. Money can really make a difference in children’s education in their educational environments and personality developments. It would be easier for children to have the chance to learn whatever they want to learn with professional teacher’s help without worrying about the expensive tutor fee. They can even explore different cultures and thinking styles by themselves since they can choose to experience foreign study environment which definitely would spend a great amount of money which cannot be paid with one-month salary if they like. On the contrary, without the strong financial support from family’s deposit money, children would surely lose those opportunities to develop themselves which would be a huge pity for both children and parents even though they lead an enjoyable life physically.
October 12, 2020 at 8:26 pmScore: 47.9
Issues:
- About 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
- Substantive grammatical errors.
- Lengthy paragraphs. Restrict each paragraph to 90 words.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
