As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?
TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. › IELTS Writing › As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?
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As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?
There seems to be an increasingly widespread concern about job satisfaction. Personally, I think that the self-fulfilment and promotion opportunities are responsible for this.
In the past, individuals had no choice but to struggle hard to earn a living for families, due to the insufficiency of social productive forces. However, this is no longer the case. Modern advanced technology has dramatically boosted the economic development, and consequently improved the public’s living standards. As a result, nowadays when seeking an occupation from the job market, one element that individuals will notice is the self-fulfilment, which means whether the potential occupation enables them to reach their own value of life. If not, they might feel depressed and dispirited.
Moreover, the opportunity of promotion also possesses a critical impact on the satisfaction of one’s occupation. For instance, several years ago, the artificial intelligence was so popular that tens of thousands of graduates devoted themselves to this field. However, lacking abilities of adapting to keen competition and quickly learning new technologies results in those graduates possessing few opportunities of promotion. Eventually, most of them ended up under the pressure of being sacked and replaced by youngers.
In conclusion, it is hard for most employees to seek a tailored and satisfactory job. This is because the interpersonal atmosphere in a workplace may not meet everyone’s personalized needs. Besides, the types of employees corporations truly are eager to hire are not those who obtained much theoretical knowledge from the colleges, but those who harbored the practical skills that could tackle specific problems.
Score: ungraded
Issues:
- About 35% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them;
- About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts;
- Topic introduced without preparation (1st paragraph);
- There are many redundant words/phrases/. I.E. increasing/widespread or Struggle/hard. Conceptually, the two words are repetitive;
- Many errors with Article THE. Learn how to use them correctly;
- Many words don’t make sense. I.E. Social Productive force;
- Learn how to use coordinating words and the use of associated punctuations. Sentence/clause structure can be totally different with or without punctuation when using a coordinating word;
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
In modern society, there seems to be an increasing number of concern about job satisfaction. What I would argue is that the self-fulfillment and promotion opportunities are responsible for job satisfaction.
In the past, individuals had no choice but to struggle hard to earn a living, due to the insufficiency of social productivity. However, this is no longer the case. Modern advanced technology has dramatically boosted economic development, and consequently improved the public’s living standards. As a result, nowadays, when seeking an occupation from the job market, one element that individuals will notice is the self-fulfillment, which means whether such potential job enables them to reach their value of life. If not, they might feel depressed and spiritless.
Moreover, the promotion opportunity also possesses a critical impact on the satisfaction of one’s occupation. For instance, several years ago, the artificial intelligence was so popular that tens of thousands of graduates devoted themselves to this field. However, lacking abilities in adapting to keen competition and quickly learning new technologies results in those graduates possessing few opportunities of promotion. Eventually, most of them ended up under the pressure of being sacked and replaced by youngers.
In conclusion, it is hard for most employees to seek a tailored and satisfactory job. This is because the interpersonal atmosphere in a workplace may not meet everyone’s personalized needs. Besides, the types of employees corporations truly are eager to hire are not those who obtained much theoretical knowledge from the colleges, but those who harbored the practical skills that could tackle specific problems.
Score: 43.2
Issues:
- About 35% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
- About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
In modern society, there seems to be an increasing concern about job satisfaction. However, the discussion now focuses on how to raise employees’ satisfaction about occupation. What I believe is that a sense of accomplishment and promotion opportunities are responsible for job satisfaction.
In the past, individuals had no choice but to struggle hard to earn a living due to the insufficiency of social productivity. However, this is no longer the case. Modern advanced technology has dramatically boosted economic development and consequently improved the public’s living standards. As a result, nowadays, when seeking an occupation from the job market, one element that individuals will emphasize is the feeling of achievement, which means whether such potential job enables them to reach their value of life. If not, they might feel depressed and spiritless.
Moreover, the promotion opportunity also possesses a critical impact on the satisfaction of one’s occupation. For instance, several years ago, artificial intelligence was so popular that tens of thousands of graduates devoted themselves to this field. However, lacking abilities in adapting to keen competition and quickly learning new technologies results in those graduates possessing few opportunities for promotion. Eventually, most of them ended up under the pressure of being sacked and replaced by youngers.
In conclusion, it is hard for most employees to seek a tailored and satisfactory job. This is because not everyone can be suitable for a certain atmosphere in the workplace. Besides, the ideal staffs that corporations are eager to recruit are not those who obtained much theoretical knowledge from the colleges, but those who harbored the practical skills that could tackle specific problems.
Score: 43.9
Issues:
- About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
- About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
In modern society, there seems to be an increasing concern about job satisfaction. However, the discussion now focuses on how to raise employees’ satisfaction about occupation. What I believe is that a sense of accomplishment and promotion opportunities are responsible for job satisfaction.In the past, individuals had
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it is hard for most employees to seeksecuring atailored andsatisfactory job remains challenging for most people. (This is because not everyone can be suitable for a certain atmosphere in the workplace.) [unclear] Besides, the ideal/optimal staffsthat corporations are eager to recruit are not those whoobtained much theoretical knowledge from the colleges, but those who harbored the practical skills that could tackle specific problemsare able to convert class learning into professional competencies.
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