Lack of freshwater is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. What problems does this shortage cause? What measures could be taken to overcome these problems?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Lack of freshwater is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. What problems does this shortage cause? What measures could be taken to overcome these problems?

  • luo_loss
    University: Guangzhou University
    Nationality: China
    March 5, 2020 at 2:20 am

    Lack of freshwater is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. What problems does this shortage cause? What measures could be taken to overcome these problems?

    As is known to all, most agriculture depends on water, because water deficiency will directly lead to the number of crops. And then food shortage results in the increase of its price, while the deprived can hardly afford to purchase food and they probably starve to death. Still, water scarcity has a great influence to animals’ lives.  Different from humans, animals can only get water from the natural. As water is the source of life, animals cannot live without it, which may not only affect the diversity of creatures, but also eventually detriment to humans, for the reason that every individual is a part of the food chain.

    Despite the shortage of water supply will have a great impact on us; fortunately, we have feasible solutions to alleviate this problem. On one hand, the government can devote more money and pay more attention to agriculture research. Research and development teams can accelerate the development of low water dependent farm products as soon as possible in order to decrease the usage of water. On the other hand, the government should promote the public to be aware of the severe results of the shortage of water resources via community activities or the distribution of pamphlets. In the meantime, the media can teach citizens how to save water. Through the above methods, the problem of water shortage may be relieved.

    All in all, the water resource plays an essential role to the whole world and it is high time that human beings should be alert to this problem and take actions immediately.

    March 10, 2020 at 2:37 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.