Leaders are created by the demands that are placed on them.
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May 21, 2021 at 5:24 am
Leaders are created by the demands that are placed on them.
The very person, which sitting on a leading position, is not always created by demands placed on them but rather by appointment, elevation or election procedures. A true leader, however, always is created by demands that are placed on them and grow through harsh circumsntaces. The boundray may be crossed when an elected leader faced no urging demands when he or she was elected but doing well when facing exigent situations like the threaten of war.
Under many circumstances, leaders just represent a title. For example, an official of a leading position may assumed that position just because he or she is the most experienced person in that system, or his or her social skills makes him or her welcomed by most people and thus be elected. But when facing exigent situations, like the outbreak of Coronavirus in 2019, many may fail to handle the problem. Consider a well-respected doctor, who assumed the leading position of centers for disease control and prevention, will not be able to meet the demands placed on him or her because the lacking of administration abilities. In this case, the doctor’s profession skill is redoubtful, but he or she just do not have the comptence when dealing public affairs. These kind of leaders are not created by the demads placed on them, and they constantly fail to meet that demands.
In other cases, it is the demands that made leaders. Considering the American President Roosevelt during World War II, who served four terms as the President of the United States. It was under the extrem condition of war and the Great Depression before that, did he successfully leade the country through a series of critical situations. It is not so much his position as the President than his successful leadership when meeting the demands placed on him that made him a great leader. Abraham Lincoln, already a great president before the American Civil War, but it is during that war did he made the famous Gettysburg Addres in which the notion of “a government of the people, by the people, for the people” was first stated. These examples substantiated the author’s statement that leaders are created by the demands placed on them, not by their position, quality, social skills and other non-relevant traits.
However, great leaders created by great demands that are placed on them, but great demands may create unsuccessful leaders, or expose one unfitting leader to the public. Marcus Antonius, the Roman politician and general who followed Caesar’s step to be one of the most powerful man in the Roman Republic, when facing the historical turning point of the Roman Republic into an autocratic Empire, failed to finish that duty and only let his rival, Octavia, became the emperor. The following history tells us that the transform of Roman Republic into an empire is inevitable and represents positive aspects of history evolution, but this great demands placed on leaders do not necessarily make that leader became a great leader, but only the leader with such potential will finall be choosen. In light of this history event, we may conclude that great demands requires great leaders, but a true leader is only the one who successfully accommodated to that great demands.
To sum up, true leaders are created by the demands that are placed on them, but to achieve that leadership, one must also be competent enough to meet the demands. A successful leader requires both the external demands and internal abilities.
May 27, 2021 at 3:29 amScore: ungraded
Issues:
- About 70% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
- About 50% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision );
- Lengthy paragraphs; restrict each paragraph to 110 words.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
May 28, 2021 at 6:28 amSomeone may sit on the leading position by appointment, elevation or election procedures. While a true leader always is created by demands that are placed on them. The boundary may cross when an elected leader faced no urging demands when he or she was elected but successfully meet exigent situations like the threat of war.
Under many circumstances, leaders represent a title. But when facing exigent situations, like the outbreak of Coronavirus in 2019, these leaders may fail to handle the problem. Consider a well-respected doctor, who assumed the leading position of centers for disease control and prevention, may not be able to suppress the outspread of virus. In this case, the doctor’s professional skill is redoubtful, but he or she just do not have the quality with public affairs. These kind of leaders are not created by the demads placed on them, and they constantly fail to meet that demands.
In other cases, it is the demands that made leaders. Consider the American President Roosevelt who served four terms during World War II. Under the extrem condition of the Great Depression and war, he successfully leaded the country through a series of critical situations. It is not his position but his successful leadership made him a great president. Abraham Lincoln, under harsh circumstances of the American Civil War, made the famous Gettysburg Addres in which the notion of “a government of the people, by the people, for the people” was first stated. These examples substantiate the author’s statement that demands create leaders.
Finally, demands also can create unsuccessful leaders, or expose one unfitting leader to the public. Marcus Antonius, the Roman politician who followed Caesar’s step to be one of the most powerful man in the Roman Republic, when facing the historical turning point of the Roman Republic into an autocratic Empire, failed to finish that duty. The following history tells us that the transform of Roman Republic into an empire is inevitable and represents positive aspects of historical evolution, but this great demands placed on Anthony did not make him a great leader. In light of this history event, we can conclude that a true leader is only the one who successfully accommodated great demands.
To sum up, true leaders are created by the demands that are placed on them, but to achieve that leadership, one must also be competent enough to meet that demands. A successful leader requires both external demands and internal abilities.
May 28, 2021 at 10:10 amSomeone may sit on the leading position by appointment, elevation (word choice error) or election procedures (word choice error). While a true leader always is created by demands that are placed on them (incomplete sentence). The boundary may cross (vague, unclear what this means) when an elected leader faced (verb tense error) no urging (urgent) demands when he or she was elected but successfully meet exigent situations like the threat of war (intro needs to be rewritten, what is your argument? state it clearly with simpler language).
Under many circumstances, leaders represent a title (unclear). But when facing exigent situations (an exigent situation), like the outbreak of Coronavirus in 2019, these leaders may fail to handle the problem. Consider a well-respected doctor, who assumed the leading position of centers for disease control and prevention (simplify), may not be able to suppress the outspread of virus (reword sentence to make more succinct). In this case, the doctor’s professional skill is redoubtful (doubtful), but he or she just do (subject-verb agreement) not have the quality (word choice error) with public affairs. These kind of (delete) leaders are not created by the demads (spelling error) placed on them, and they constantly fail to meet that demands (singular).
In other cases, it is the demands that made leaders (rewrite). Consider the American President Roosevelt who served four terms during World War II. Under the extrem (spelling error) condition of the Great Depression and war, he successfully leaded (irregular verb in past tense) the country through a series of critical situations. It is (verb tense error) not his position but his successful leadership that made him a great president. Abraham Lincoln, under the harsh circumstances of the American Civil War, made the famous Gettysburg Addres (spelling error) in which the notion of “a government of the people, by the people, for the people” was first stated. These examples substantiate the author’s statement that demands create leaders. (rephrase)
Finally, demands (you need to write this as “the demand place on leaders” throughout the essay) also can create unsuccessful leaders, or expose one (an) unfitting (unfit) leader to the public. Marcus Antonius, the Roman politician who followed Caesar’s step to be one of the most powerful man (plural) in the Roman Republic, when facing the historical turning point of the Roman Republic into an autocratic Empire, failed to finish that duty. The following history tells us that the transform of the Roman Republic into an empire is inevitable and represents positive aspects of historical evolution, but this great demands placed on Anthony did not make him a great leader. In light of this history (make into an adjective) event, we can conclude that a true leader is only the one who successfully accommodated great demands (simplify).
To sum up, true leaders are created by the demands that are placed on them, but to achieve that leadership, one must also be competent enough to meet that (those) demands. A successful leader requires both external demands (vary word choice, you use demand too often) and internal abilities.
(Essay needs significant revision, make sure you are clearly stating your argument. The conclusion is an improvement over other parts of the essay as it states your argument clearly and succinctly.)
