Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.

  • llovekm
    University: Sun Yat-sen
    Nationality: China
    April 28, 2021 at 3:40 pm

    Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

    In the age of globalization, the competition between countries are becoming increasingly fierce. Some governments think that it is the most important to develop economy, while others believe that it is also important to focus on other types of progress. From my perspective, i am inclined to agree with the latter opinion.

    Admittedly, economic progress is important for a country. With the development of economy, governments can spend more money on basic facilities to improve people’s life. For example, more public libraries can be built so that it would be more accessible and convenient for people to read and learn by themselves, which further satisfies their mental needs. Moreover, the government could broaden the roads as well as construct more subways. Under this situation, people can lessen their commuting time of work and travel in an more easy way during their holiday.

    However, opponents argue that progress of other aspects is equally important. Firstly, the development of space science can solve many problems like resource shortages. If there is a breakthrough in space exploration, scientists may find some potential resources to contribute to the country’s sustainable development. Secondly, the improved medical level of the country can help build its reputation in the world. That is to say, the progress of medicare could help the country react immediately and effectively during pandemic, which could show the competitiveness of the country and earn the respect of others.

    In my opinion, despite the importance of economic progress, i strongly consider that others aspects of the country, such as space technology and medicare level are equally beneficial for a country’s success. Because in modern society, a country’s competitiveness depends on a variety of aspects rather than just one type of progress, and other aspects are just equally important as economy.

    April 28, 2021 at 4:29 pm

    Score: 47.9

    Issues:

    1. About 45% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. About 15% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision ).

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

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