Many people are afraid to leave home because of crimes

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Many people are afraid to leave home because of crimes

  • VictorYang
    University: sues
    Nationality: Chinese
    September 1, 2020 at 11:04 am

    Many people are afraid to leave home because of crimes. Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crimes, but others feel little can be done. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

    Nowadays, a lot of people are worried about crimes,so they are not willing to go out.Some people think imediate actions should be taken to stop crimes from happening.However,others hold an oppsite view. They think they can do nothing to curb crimes.In my opinion,it is necessary for us to do our best to make our society a much safer place.

    Some people are very negative when facing security matters .In their opinion, crimes can not totally disappear though the police spend a lot of time and money to combat crimes.From my point of view,they are totally wrong.Although crimes will still happen,the crime rates will decrease if the police take proper actions like setting surveillance cameras,catching criminals and so on.

    More people believe that only if we take active measures can criminals reduce.The most direct method to reduce the crime rates is that the police should carry weapons while patrolling.I think the advantage is that the presence of police officers will have a deterrent effect .Potential offenders think they can not escape the punishments,so they will think twice if they want to commit a crime.Another method is also a good way to decrease the crime rates,however, we should do it in a long time. Government should make policies in order to reduce poverty. For example , governmet can set up foundations in order to help families which can not afford tuition.If most of the children receive well education,fewer and fewer people will violate laws.

    All in all,I firmly believe that active methods should be taken to make the society much safer.

    September 2, 2020 at 9:22 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 30% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    3. Add a space after each period and comma
    4. Article errors
    5. Spelling errors

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    VictorYang
    University: sues
    Nationality: Chinese
    September 3, 2020 at 7:48 am

    Nowadays, many people are worried about crimes, so they are not willing to go out. Some people think they should take immediate actions to stop crimes from happening. However, others hold an opposite view. They believe they can do nothing to curb crimes. In my opinion, it is necessary that people should do their best to make their city a safer place.

    Some people are very passive when facing security matters. In their opinion, crimes can not completely disappear though the police spend a lot of time and money combating crimes.From my point of view, they are wrong. Although crimes will still happen, the crime rates will decrease if the police take proper actions like setting surveillance cameras, catching criminals and so on.

    More people believe that only if we take drastic measures can criminals reduce.The most direct method to reduce crime rates is that the police should carry weapons while patrolling. I think the advantage is that the presence of police officers will have a deterrent effect . Potential offenders are pretty sure that they can not escape the punishments easily, so they will think twice if they want to commit a crime. Another method is also an effective way to decrease the crime rates, however, we should do it in a long time. Government should make policies in order to reduce poverty. For example , governmet can set up foundations so that it can help families who can not afford tuition.If most of the children receive sound education, fewer and fewer people will violate laws.

    All in all, I firmly believe that we should take active methods to make society much safer.

    September 3, 2020 at 6:00 pm

    Many people are afraid to leave home because of crimes. Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crimes, but others feel little can be done. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

    Nowadays, many [Many  ]people are worried about crimes, so they are (not willing)[ use one word ] to go out. Some people think they[ unclear pronoun ] should take immediate actions to stop crimes from happening. However, others hold an opposite view. They believe they[ unclear pronoun ] can do nothing to curb crimes. In my opinion, (it is necessary that)[ redundant ] people should do their best to make their city a safer place[unclear thesis – specify  ].

    Some people are (very passive)[unclear  ] when facing security[wrong word  ] matters. In their opinion, crimes can[ would ] not completely[misplaced adverb  ] disappear though the[ article error ] police spend (a lot of)[ informal -considerable amounts of ] time and money combating crimes.[ spacing error ]From my point of view, they are wrong. Although crimes will still happen, the crime rates will decrease if the police take proper actions like [informal word  ]setting surveillance cameras, catching criminals [ punctuation error ]and so on.

    More people believe that only if we take drastic measures can (criminals reduce)[ unclear ].[spacing error  ]The most direct method to reduce crime rates is that the police should [ logical confusion ]carry weapons while patrolling[ wordy sentence ]. I think the advantage is that [since  ]the presence of [ armed ]police officers will[absolute statement  ] have a deterrent effect [incomplete sentence  ]. Potential offenders are pretty sure that they can not escape the punishments easily, so they will think twice if they want to commit a crime. Another method is also an effective way to decrease the crime rates, however, we should do it[ unclear pronoun ] in a long time[unclear sentence  ]. Government should make policies[ unclear ] in order to reduce poverty. For example [ spacing error ], governmet can set up foundations[unclear word  ] so that it [ unclear pronoun ]can help families who can not afford tuition.[spacing  ]If most of the children receive [  article error]sound education, fewer and fewer people will[absolute writing  ] violate laws.

    All in all, I firmly believe that we should take active methods to make society much safer.