Many people think the government should spend money exploring outer space, while others believe that it is a waste of public money

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Many people think the government should spend money exploring outer space, while others believe that it is a waste of public money

  • Kiri
    University: China University of Mining and Technology
    Nationality: China
    October 17, 2020 at 10:24 am

    Many people think the government should spend money exploring outer space, while others believe that it is a waste of public money. Discuss both views and include your own opinion.

    There has been controversy surrounding space exploration since the beginning of The Space Age in the 1950s. Critics argue that space research could be risky and costly, while I believe that the benefits it brings are enormous, justifying the huge amounts of space funding.

    Some people believe that space exploration is expensive and should therefore remain a lower priority. Man’s venture into sapce could always cost millions of dollars, too often with no tangible and immediate benefits. It is imprudent for a country to allocate thousands of millions of dollars for space exploration, while its people lives in abject poverty. Governments should use the money to solve urgent problems such as hunger, disease and unemployment.

    Advocates of space research base their arguments on the benefits it can offer. First of all, space exploration has created new markets and technologies, which is positive to the economy and citizens’ lives. Without launching space missions, GPS system and satellite television could not come into being. Secondly, space technology is crucial for the survival of the human species. The Earth are always regarded as the cradle of humanity, but we cannot stay here forever. Developing space technologies could increase the chances of survival should the Earth be under threat. Finally, space exploration satsified human’s desire to challenge the unknown things. It is such desire that drove our ancestors to go out Africa and continues to inspire many to push the boundaries of scientific and technical limits. Simply put, it epitomizes the power of the human spirit.

    My view is that space exploration can benefit people of the world now and our generations in the future, and it is not something governments should give up for the sake of some short-termed effort.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    October 19, 2020 at 4:37 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. Spelling errors
    3. Rewrite your introduction – clearly state your argument do not just restate the prompt

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Kiri
    University: China University of Mining and Technology
    Nationality: China
    October 24, 2020 at 12:19 pm

    There has been controversy surrounding space exploration. Critics argue that space research could be risky and costly, while I believe that the benefits it brings far outweigh its risks.

    Some people believe that space exploration is expensive and therefore should remain a lower priority. Man’s venture into space always cost millions of dollars with no tangible and immediate benefits. It is imprudent for a country to allocate money for space exploration while its people live in abject poverty. By contrast, the money should to used to solve urgent problems such as hunger, disease, and unemployment.

    Advocates of space research base their arguments on the benefits it can offer. First of all, space exploration has created new markets and technologies, which benefits the economy and citizens’s lives. GPS and satellite television would not have been possible without the launch of space missions.Secondly, space technology is crucial for the survival of the human species. The Earth are always regarded as the cradle of humanity, but we cannot stay here forever. Developing space technologies could increase the chances of survival when the Earth is threaten. Finally, space exploration satisfied human’s desire to challenge the unknown things. It is this desire that drove our ancestors out of Africa and continues to inspire many to push the limits of science and technology. Overall, it epitomizes the power of the human spirit.

    My view is that space exploration can benefit people of the world now and our generations in the future, and governments should invest in space exploration for the sake of humanity.

     

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    October 25, 2020 at 12:36 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. Lengthy paragraphs. Restrict each paragraph to 90 words. 

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Kiri
    University: China University of Mining and Technology
    Nationality: China
    October 25, 2020 at 1:28 am

    There has been controversy surrounding space exploration. Critics argue that space research could be risky and costly, while I believe that the benefits it brings far outweigh its risks.

    Some people believe that space exploration is expensive and therefore should remain a lower priority. The venture into space always costs millions of dollars without any tangible and immediate benefit. It is imprudent to invest money in space exploration while the people of a country are living in abject poverty. Instead, that money should be used to address urgent problems of hunger, disease, and unemployment.

    Advocates of space research base their arguments on the benefits it can offer. First of all, space exploration has created new markets and technologies that benefit the economy and citizens’ lives. Global positioning systems and satellite television would not exist without the launch of space missions. Secondly, space technology is vital to the survival of humans. Earth has always been considered the cradle of humanity, but we cannot stay here forever. Developing space technologies could increase the chances of survival in the event of a threat to the Earth. Finally, space exploration satisfied humans’ desire to challenge the uncharted fields. It is this desire that drove our ancestors out of Africa and continues to inspire many to push the limits of science and technology. Therefore it epitomizes the power of the human spirit.

    My view is that space exploration can benefit the people of the world now and our generation in the future, and that governments should invest in space exploration for the benefit of humanity.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    October 27, 2020 at 8:26 pm

     

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. One paragraph is lengthy. Restrict it to 90 words. 
    2. Rewrite the introductory paragraph using your own words. 

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.