Nowadays more and more young people hold important positions in the government. Some people think that it is a good thing, while others argue that it is not suitable. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Nowadays more and more young people hold important positions in the government. Some people think that it is a good thing, while others argue that it is not suitable. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

  • Demetrius
    University: Communication University of China
    Nationality: Manchu
    April 7, 2021 at 5:17 am

    Nowadays more and more young people hold important positions in the government. Some people think that it is a good thing, while others argue that it is not suitable. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

    It is not uncommon for some key departments of administrations to recruit youngsters at present. Some people believe that its pros overweigh the cons, while others consider it to be inappropriate. I think that both views are reasonable.

    Those who harbour the idea that this can bring more benefits may think that the younger generation, who symbolise the future of their country, are able to make governments more energetic and creative. To be more specific, youngsters are more willing to embrace new ideas and technologies which elderly people may shy away from. As a result, there will likely be more innovations and reforms which can make a positive difference to administrations if the proportion of young people is relatively high in some crucial positions.

    On the other hand, it is true that older staff are more experienced and sophisticated, and know how to make well-informed decisions in order to bring more interest to their sectors. By comparison, the energy and ambitions that younger government workers have mean that they are prone to conduct rash behaviour and produce thorny problems, especially when they assume leadership roles in key positions.

    In my view, it can bring more advantages than disadvantages if youngsters account for a larger proportion in crucial sectors in the government. However, experienced workers also play a crucial role. They can deliver their knowledge and give useful advice to younger staff in order to drive innovation and prevent problems at the same time.

    In conclusion, I believe that it is beneficial for the government to have more young people in their important sectors if youngsters can collaborate with elderly workers well.

    April 8, 2021 at 2:26 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 70% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Anonymous
    April 9, 2021 at 7:39 am

    people have different views about whether young adults should take vital positions in the government.While there are some drawbacks,I believe this is a positive trend.
    There are several reasons why people think it is unsuitable.Young people have less experience about the society,making them unaware of the public’s true needs.Due to their young age,they lack the opportunities to explore the real problems in social context,for example,how to balance the interests of different parties.Also,impulsive as youngsters are,many decisions are likely to be made emotionally,which can sometimes do damage to the society.
    On the other hand,it is beneficial for young officers to play an important role in government,which is the attitude that I believe.Firstly,commanding the ability to create and image,young adults are likely to innovate in certain important fields.For instance,some policies intended to promote economy will be published as young officials are determined to revolution.Secondly,young people are full of passion and willing to follow their dreams,which means they are easily get motivated by daily work and our society will be influenced in a positive way.
    In conclusion,I can understand why some people disapprove this trend,but it seems to me that it is of great benefits.

    April 9, 2021 at 4:24 pm

    Invalid [WeChat account unfound]