Most advertisements make products seem much better than they really are. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Most advertisements make products seem much better than they really are. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

  • Olivia …
    University: central south university
    Nationality: China
    February 13, 2020 at 2:46 pm

    Most advertisements make products seem much better than they really are. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    When it comes to products advertisements, it is necessary to mention a product that I bought from a on-line store three days before.  When I received it, I felt so disappointed that it was not as beautiful as their pictures I saw on the websites. Undeniably, there are many people who have same experience. This phenomenon illustrates that most products showing in advertisements are better than in reality.

    In the first place, with the development of e-commerce, most of people may prefer to go shopping on line rather than on traditional stores. Therefore, only through products advertisements and other customers’ comments can we knowledge products. For the dotcoms, if there are elaborate photos on their store, they will impress their guests a lot and eventually urge people to buy them. According to a data analysis released by the China Internet Association, over 70 percent of retailers are decorated delicately and display satisfying pictures. In most cases, products are not consistent with their quality, which results many negative comments.

    Moreover, in order to attract more customers, companies take many actions to beautify their products’ advertisements. In other words, with the development of photography technology, they are more likely to adopt it to adjust the picture’s exposure degree or use various filters or slim people’s face or figure an so forth. These actions absolutely make photos more enjoyable, meanwhile, products showed in these advertisements seem to be high quality.Thus, more people are willing to make a order for these goods. This is main purpose that companies seek for. With the purpose of pursuing their own maximum benefits, companies doubtlessly adopt these technology to make products better than they really are.

    To sum up, it is determined that most products’ advertisements are beatified and are different with their original version.Faced with this reality, How we can inspect the real quality of products is to analyse customers comments and compare with other store carefully.

    February 17, 2020 at 10:15 pm

    Score: 49.7

    Issues:

    1. About 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. More than 30% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Olivia …
    University: central south university
    Nationality: China
    February 18, 2020 at 2:11 pm

    When it comes to advertisements,  I have to mention a product bought from an online store recently. Compared with the fancy pictures, it seems like totally different items. Without doubt, most products showing in advertisements are better than in reality. And there are plenty of consumers suffering same things.

    In the first place, with the rapidly development of e-commerce, most people prefer to go shopping at particular Web sites rather than at traditional stores. Therefore, only through commercials and customers’ comments can we seek to knowledge products. For the dotcoms, tempting slogans and glamorous descriptions will impress their guests deeply and attract them to make purchases. According to a data analysis released by an association, over 70 percent of retailers are decorated delicately and display satisfying pictures. In most cases, mechanics tend to exaggerate the usefulness of products.

    Moreover, in order to persuade the public to order, companies spare no efforts to promote products. In other words, they pay more attention to make advertisements become fine artwork. As photography technology developing, they adopt various photo editing software to adjust the picture’s exposure degree or slim people’s face or figure and so forth. Thus, these products showed in these advertisements seem to be high quality. People will purchase these items as much as possible, which is the main purpose that companies seek for. Needless to say, good quality is an effective stimulus to encourage people to buy goods. With the purpose of pursuing maximum benefits, companies wield diversified ways to expend sales and make advertisements better.

    To sum up, it is determining that most products’ advertisements are different with their reality. Faced with this phenomenon, not only can we analyse customers comments, but also we need to compare with counterparts at other stores carefully.

    February 21, 2020 at 11:05 pm

    Score: 51.5

    Issues:

    1. More than 10% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    When it comes to advertisements,  I have to mention a product bought [ grammatical error ] from an online store recently. Compared with the fancy pictures[unclear  ], it seems like totally different items[ word form error/ it-items ]. Without doubt[wrong phrase  ], most products showing in advertisements are better than [ lack comparison ]in reality. [ punctuation error concerning coordinating word ]And there are plenty[ grammatical error ] of consumers suffering same things.

    In the first place, with the rapidly [grammatical error  ]development of e-commerce, most people prefer to go shopping at particular Web sites [ spelling error ]rather than at traditional stores. Therefore, only through commercials and customers’ comments can we seek to [  grammatical error]knowledge products. For the dotcoms, tempting slogans and glamorous descriptions will [absolute statement  ]impress their guests deeply and attract them to make purchases[ redundant ]. According to a data analysis released by an association, over 70 percent of retailers are decorated[passive/grammatical error  ] delicately and display satisfying pictures. In most cases, mechanics [  wrong word]tend to exaggerate the usefulness of products.

    Moreover, in order to persuade the public to order, companies spare no efforts to promote products. In other words, they pay more attention to make advertisements become[wrong word  ] fine artwork. As photography technology developing[ grammatical error ], they[ unclear pronoun ] adopt various[grammatical error  ] photo editing software to adjust the picture’s exposure degree or slim people’s face or figure and so forth. Thus, these products showed in these advertisements seem to be [ preposition missing ]high quality. People will purchase these items as much as possible, which is the main purpose that companies seek for[ending sentence with preposition  ]. Needless to say, good quality is an effective stimulus to encourage people to buy goods. With the purpose of pursuing maximum benefits, companies wield diversified ways to expend[ wrong word ] sales and make advertisements better.

    To sum up, it is determining[ wrong word ] that most products’[ word form error ] advertisements are different with [ wrong preposition ]their reality. Faced with this phenomenon, not only can we analyse customers comments, but also we also need to compare with counterparts at other stores carefully.