Which is the most important thing for a country leader to assure the prosperity of the country: create more jobs for the unemployed worker; improve agriculture to ensure the low price of food; increase access to affordable houses.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Which is the most important thing for a country leader to assure the prosperity of the country: create more jobs for the unemployed worker; improve agriculture to ensure the low price of food; increase access to affordable houses.

  • ysyyao123
    University: Hunan Normal Univeristy
    Nationality: CHINA
    February 13, 2020 at 3:19 pm

    Which is the most important thing for a country leader to assure the prosperity of the country: create more jobs for the unemployed worker; improve agriculture to ensure the low price of food; increase access to affordable houses.

    Boosting the economy is always the goal of governments. Some people may claim providing cheaper food and living spaces can be effective. However, in my opinion, it is unreasonable to highlight food and spaces before creating more jobs.

    How can a society develop without harmony? Harmony is the prerequisite of economic development because all the commercial activities must be carried out in a stable society. In order to maintain harmony, the primary thing is reducing the crime rate in society. According to statistics, in the U.S, the unemployment rate is directly proportional to its crime rate. Apparently, if people are able to work, they will make a living rather than commit a crime. Hence, creating more job benefits to maintain harmony in a country, which even contributes to the success of the economy.

    Besides, more laborers mean more production. To elaborate, production increase contributes to tax income, then money gained from tax-payers can be used to invest in new industries. As a result, new industries will produce prosperity and advance future development. That is an efficient loop. For example, in China, the “poverty alleviation policy” makes millions of people gain occupations every year. Except for doing regular jobs, some people devote themselves to Internet industries, making videos, opening on-line stores, creating live-shows and so forth. Nowadays, China’s GDP has increased stably.

    Last but not the least, providing lower-price food and houses lacks feasibility. On the one hand, lower-price food is going to decrease the income of agriculture, which is of large proportion to tax input. Once the financial input has been cut, it would have a negative effect on the economy. On the other hand, even though the price of houses would decrease a little bit, unemployed people could never buy a house.

    In a nutshell, I strongly maintain creating more jobs for unemployed workers is a sensible decision.

    February 17, 2020 at 10:03 pm

    Score: 57.1

    Issues:

    1. Nearly 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    ysyyao123
    University: Hunan Normal Univeristy
    Nationality: CHINA
    February 18, 2020 at 1:54 pm

    Boosting the economy is always the goal of governments. Some people may claim providing cheaper food and living spaces can be effective. However, it is unreasonable to provide food and living space before creating more jobs.

    How can a society develop without harmony? To maintain that, what governments should do is creating more jobs. When people are able to work, they will afford food rather than rub stores. As the crime rate in society decreases, public transportation becomes safer, grocery stores remain stable, and companies run smoothly. In long terms, the prosperity of the country will increase. In addition to paying salaries, some factories and firms further offer workers food and accommodations. Such an act not only can satisfy workers but also benefit the production.

    Besides, more laborers mean more wealth. Production increase brings to tax income, and governments can divert it to new industries. Then, new industries will produce prosperity and advance future development. That is an efficient loop. China, for example, enacts a policy named “Poverty Alleviation”. The policy props up the livelihoods of the poor by creating a number of jobs in cities. It has also been deployed to enlarge the crop sales. Farmers sell their foodstuffs via a mobile-phone app, by making videos or live-shows. As a result, it benefits China’s GDP increased a lot.

    Last but not least, providing lower-price food and houses lacks feasibility. One reason not to impose price controls for foodstuffs is that they are negative for the domestic market. Price controls lead to hoarding and black markets, which will worsen the economic development.  Another is that they are so hard to remove. For example, when Chile removed the price controls, sudden price increase resulted in widespread unrest, that brought Chile’s army onto the streets and resulted in 29 deaths.

    I have to admit that leaders should put weight on providing necessities of life. However, creating more jobs can solve that radically. In summary, I maintain that creating more jobs is a more sensible decision.

     

    February 21, 2020 at 10:26 pm

    Which is the most important thing for a country leader to assure the prosperity of the country: create more jobs for the unemployed worker; improve agriculture to ensure the low price of food; increase access to affordable houses.

    Score: 65.7

    Boosting the economy is always the goal of governments. Some people may [redundant  ] claim that providing cheaper food and living spaces [ logical incompleteness ]can be effective[logical incomplete  ]. However, I am of the opinion that (it is unreasonable to provide)[ redundant ] providing food and living space for every citizen precedes before creating more jobs the creation of more job opportunities.

    How can a society develop[ wrong word ] without harmony[ unclear ]? To maintain that[unclear pronoun  ], what governments should do is creating more jobs[conflicting with the thesis  ]. When people are able to work, they will afford food rather than rub stores. As the[ article error ] crime rate in society decreases, public transportation becomes safer, grocery stores remain stable, and companies run smoothly. In long terms[ wrong phrase ], the prosperity of the [  article error]country will increase[ rephrase ]. In addition to paying salaries, some factories and firms further offer workers food and accommodations. Such an act not only can[ wrong position ] satisfy workers but also benefit the production[ unclear ].

    Besides, more laborers mean more wealth. Production increase brings to[preposition error  ] tax income, and governments can divert it to new industries. Then, new industries will produce [ wrong word ]prosperity and advance future development. That is an efficient loop. China, for example, enacts a policy named “Poverty Alleviation”that . The policy props up the livelihoods of the poor by creating a[ article error ] number of jobs in cities. It[ unclear pronoun ] has also been deployed to enlarge the crop sales. Farmers sell their foodstuffs[word form error  ] via a mobile-phone app, [  punctuation error]by making videos or live-shows. As a result, it [  unclear pronoun]benefits China’s GDP increased (a lot)[ informal ].

    Last but not least, providing lower-price food and houses[locial incompleteness  ] lacks feasibility[ rephrase ]. One reason not to impose price controls for foodstuffs is that they (are negative)[  vague] for the domestic market[rephrase  ]. Price controls lead to hoarding and black markets[ absolute statement ], which will[ absolute statement ] may worsen the[ article error ] economic development.  Another is that they are so hard to remove[logical incompleteness  ]. For example, when Chile removed the price controls, sudden price increase resulted in widespread unrest, [ punctuation error ]that brought Chile’s army onto the streets and resulted in 29 deaths.

    I have to admit that leaders should (put weight on)[ redundant/emphasize ] providing necessities of life. However, creating more jobs can solve that[ unclear pronoun ] radically. In summary, I maintain that creating more jobs is a more sensible decision.