Movies and televisions have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Movies and televisions have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave.

  • Mumu
    University: UCAS
    Nationality: China
    December 13, 2020 at 3:47 pm

    Movies and televisions have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave.

    I disagree with this statement. The way youths behave largely depends on the way they think. Televisions and movies having dimensions can be thought-provoking. By presenting news around the world and diverse opinions on historical events, those high-quality television programs and videos, to some extent, complete young people’s personality and positively change their thoughts. To further explain my opinion, I will try to give a few examples.

    Global news on TV may enhance young people’s acceptance of religious and ethnic differences. When watching those news, the youths are indeed exposing themselves to a cross-cultural environment where they learn the diversity of the world. For example, when seeing the scenes of American news on TV containing both black and white people living peacefully together, the youth may learn that people of different colors should be treated equally and thus may show respect to colored people when meeting them. By influencing young people in this way, TVs teaches them to behave more tolerant of diverse religions and nations.

    Movies influence the youths in their own ways. Modern movies are not only created for commercial profits but also history records and value dissemination. After World War II, loads of movies emerged concerning the problems of the value system during and after the war. The heated debate it raised on certain humanity issues inspired the young in the past as well as in contemporary society to truly think about the events and issues. During the process of thinking and rethinking, arguing and rebutting, the youths gradually build a more rational and critical personality. Hence, they accept ideas more respectively and question authority more bravely.

    Although shallow videos still exist, I believe most youths nowadays will try to avoid watching them – instead, they like sharing high-quality ones – as they tend to pursue inner beauty. In my college, I often heard students talking about daily news and discussing valuable questions raised by a certain movie. Each time I would be astonished at how deeply and invisibly televisions and movies have been influencing young peoples.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    December 14, 2020 at 1:38 am

    Score: 55.1

    Issues:

    1. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 10% of the sentences are passive. Convert them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Mumu
    University: UCAS
    Nationality: China
    December 14, 2020 at 8:56 am

    I disagree with this statement. The way youths behave largely depends on the way they think. Televisions and movies having dimensions can be thought-provoking. By presenting global news and diverse opinions, they to some extent complete young people’s personality. i.e. they positively change their thoughts. To further explain my opinion, I will try to give a few examples.

    Global news on TV may enhance young people’s acceptance of religious and ethnic differences. When watching them, the youths are indeed exposing themselves to a cross-cultural environment, where they learn the diversity of the world. For example, the youth may learn racial equality on TV from the scenes of black and white people greeting each other. Thus, they may show more respect to colored people when meeting them.

    High-quality movies influence the youths in their own ways. Modern directors made films not only for commercial profits but also history records and value dissemination. After World War II, loads of movies emerged concerning the problems of the value system during and after the war. The heated debate it raised on certain humanity issues has inspired the young to ponder the problems. Thinking and rethinking, arguing and rebutting, the youths gradually build a more rational and critical personality. Hence, they accept ideas more respectively and question authority more bravely.

    Although shallow videos still exist, I believe most youths nowadays will try to avoid watching them – instead, they like sharing high-quality ones – as they tend to pursue inner beauty. In my college, I often heard students talking about daily news and discussing valuable questions raised by a certain movie. Each time I would be astonished at how deeply and invisibly televisions and movies have been influencing young peoples. Besides, governments are supposed to put restrictions on low-quality TV programs and movies.

     

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    December 15, 2020 at 1:46 am

    I disagree with this statement[specify the statement   ]. The way youths[ word form error  ] behave largely depends on the way they think. (Televisions and movies having dimensions can be thought-provoking)[ unclear  ]. By presenting global news and diverse opinions, they to some extent (complete young people’s personality)[unclear   ].[punctuation error   ] i.e.[ punctuation error  ] they positively change their[unclear pronoun   ] thoughts. (To further explain my opinion, I will try to give a few examples)[ vague statement  ].

    Global news on TV may enhance young people’s acceptance of religious and ethnic differences. When watching them[ unclear pronoun  ], the youths[  word form error ] are indeed exposing themselves to a cross-cultural environment, where they learn the diversity of the world. For example, the youth may learn racial equality on TV from the scenes of black and white people greeting each other. Thus, they may show more respect to colored people when meeting them.

    High-quality movies influence the youths in their own ways. Modern directors made films not only for commercial profits but also history records and value dissemination. After World War II, loads of movies emerged concerning the problems of the value system during and after the war. The heated debate it raised on certain humanity issues has inspired the young to ponder the problems. Thinking and rethinking, arguing and rebutting, the youths gradually build a more rational and critical personality. Hence, they accept ideas more respectively and question authority more bravely.

    Although shallow videos still exist, I believe most youths nowadays will try to avoid watching them – instead, they like sharing high-quality ones – as they tend to pursue inner beauty. In my college, I often heard students talking about daily news and discussing valuable questions raised by a certain movie. Each time I would be astonished at how deeply and invisibly televisions and movies have been influencing young peoples. Besides, governments are supposed to put restrictions on low-quality TV programs and movies.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    December 15, 2020 at 1:52 am

    Partial revision [Your essay contains numerous problems.]

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