Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

  • superdanny
    University: Central China Normal University
    Nationality: China
    May 28, 2019 at 3:49 pm

    Many people use co-working office for their own business.

    Essay Topic: Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

    These days, many people choose to work for themselves and open their own business instead of being an employee. In my view, there is a wide range of causes for this phenomenon, and I believe self-employment has some drawbacks.

    Several reasons contribute to a higher rate of self-employment. The primary reason can be the increasing difficulty in seeking a good job. Individuals who want to get into a big company and be well-paid normally need a high degree of academic background, as well as abundant working experiences. These requirements alone have rejected a large fraction of job-hunters in society.

    Another reason can be a desire for more money. While average workers can receive a stable salary from their company, entrepreneurs are more likely to become rich over one night because all the profits go directly to their own pocket. Moreover, to those people who do not like a routine life, embarking on a start-up can be a challenging decision.

    However, there are also downsides for self-employed people. In the first place, a start-up often requires a considerable amount of funds at the beginning. This is a tricky issue for most youngsters because they will not have much accumulation before they get a job. Secondly, self-employment sometimes equals an intensive workload. It takes a lot of efforts to consolidate a new company’s position in the market. Finally, self-employed individuals are vulnerable, because they may fail at any time. If their company is broke in the end, they may even have no economic resources when they get retired.

    Overall, ferocious competence in the job markets, as well as many other reasons, have pushed many individuals into entrepreneurship. However, these people are possibly making the wrong choices since problems emerge in front of them.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    May 29, 2019 at 9:10 pm

    Score: 56.8

    Problems Highlight

    These days, many people choose to work for themselves and open their own business instead of being[Unparallell (choose-open-being)] an employee. In my view, there is a wide range of causes for this phenomenon, and I believe self-employment has some drawbacks.
     
    [Lack of conjunction]Several reasons contribute to a higher rate of self-employment. The primary reason can be the increasing difficulty in seeking a good job. Individuals who want to get into a big company and be well-paid [Unparallell (get into-be paid)]normally need a (high degree)[Unclear] of academic background, as well as abundant working experiences. [Verbose] These requirements alone have rejected a large fraction of job-hunters (in society)[Redundant].
     
    Another reason can be a desire for more money. While average workers can receive a stable salary from their company, entrepreneurs are more likely to become rich over one night because all the profits go directly to their[Unclear pronoun: workers or entrepreneurs?] own pocket[wrong form]. [Verbose] Moreover, to those people who do not like[Wrong word; LIKE means different things] a routine life, embarking on a start-up can be a challenging decision.
     
    However, there are also downsides for self-employment self-employed people. In the first place, a start-up often requires a considerable amount of funds at the beginning. This is a tricky issue[wrong word] for most youngsters because they will[grammatical error] not have much accumulation before they get a job. Secondly, self-employment sometimes equals an intensive workload. It takes a lot of efforts to consolidate a new company’s position in the market. Finally, self-employed individuals are vulnerable, because they may fail at any time. If their company is broke in the end, they may even have no economic resources when they get retired[grammatical error – check how to use subjunctive voice].
     
    Overall, ferocious competence in the job markets, as well as many other reasons, have pushed many[Repetition] individuals into entrepreneurship. [Verbose] However, these people are possibly making the wrong choices since problems emerge in front of them.
    Comment: There are more issues than those highlighted ones. Revise and resubmit your essay and I will work on the remaining issues.