Nowadays people are more willing to help people they don’t know (for example, by giving clothing and food to people who need them) than they were in the past.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Nowadays people are more willing to help people they don’t know (for example, by giving clothing and food to people who need them) than they were in the past.

  • Marion
    University: Nanjing University
    Nationality: China
    July 26, 2020 at 5:37 pm

    Nowadays people are more willing to help people they don’t know (for example, by giving clothing and food to people who need them) than they were in the past.

    Admittedly, with the development of society, the distance between people widens. And such fact leads some impressionable people to generate the idea that people today are less likely to help strangers. However, such a statement suffers from both logical and factual fallacies. In my opinion, I strongly hold that at present, people are more willing to aid people they don’t know than they were in the past.

    First of all, the economy develops at an unprecedented speed today and people are more wealthy, so they have the ability to help others. In the past, most people struggled for their own lives and don’t have an effort to care about others. On the contrary, people’s lives have been greatly improved recently, so they have extra resources to help other people. For example, many wealthy people today donate a large amount of money to help poor people.

    Secondly, modern education teaches people that it’s necessary and significant to help people even if you don’t know them. Education follows society’s development. Nowadays we live in a global environment, everyone is linked with others and no one is isolated. Therefore, we are supposed to care about others to create harmony and empathy in our society, which will make our lives happier. My brother’s textbook has written that if we have the ability to help others, we should definitely do that.

    Third, there is a growing number of organizations nowadays that aim to help people in need. These organizations not only encourage people to aid people, but they also provide a convenient way for people to offer help to others. In the past, even if we wanted to help others, it was difficult to find such people. Thanks to these organizations, we just need to donate money to them and they will use the money to help other people systematically and efficiently. For instance, we can donate money to the International Committee of the Red Cross to help people who need medical services.

    In a nutshell, we can safely arrive at the conclusion that nowadays people are more likely to help strangers.

    July 27, 2020 at 10:08 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Be more specific/detailed (ex: “the distance between people widens”) what distance?
    2. Verb tense errors.
    3. About 35% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    4. About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    July 27, 2020 at 9:45 pm

    Invalid [ You must complete the revision of the other essay prior to resubmitting this one. ]