Nowadays some individuals behave in an anti-social way. In general, it is the society to blame. What causes the anti-social behaviors of individuals? Who should be responsible for dealing with it?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Nowadays some individuals behave in an anti-social way. In general, it is the society to blame. What causes the anti-social behaviors of individuals? Who should be responsible for dealing with it?

  • 1018828034
    University: PKU
    Nationality: China
    March 6, 2020 at 2:47 pm

    Nowadays some individuals behave in an anti-social way. In general, it is the society to blame. What causes the anti-social behaviors of individuals? Who should be responsible for dealing with it?

    It’s true that the community should be blamed for anti-social behaviors. I personally consider that there’re certain reasons for great stress they undertake and the government ought to take the responsibility of tackling the problem.

    Nowadays, most of us are under great pressure of achieving success, which has a psychological impact on us. In the competitive world, we are faced with great pressure on getting a high academic qualification and making a fortune. Everybody works hard all day to be better than people around him. However, the social resources are limited and only a few of them fulfill their dream while others have to accept the truth that they have to give up although they have made equal efforts. The crucial social fact has a profound influence on our mental health. Some of us would take revenge on the society and release their tempers by doing some anti-social behavior.

    From my prospective, the government should immediately take measures to solve the problem. Firstly, policies should be enacted to balance salaries to some extent in different field so that each profession could be equally treated since there’re great difference between different industries and the majority of people are thus heading to the companies which provides most money. Secondly, the government should create more chances of employment by encouraging trade and innovation. As a result, the jobseekers needn’t to be so competitive when pursuing their ideal employments. Thirdly, more money should be invested in cultural construction such as tennis and Peking opera to show that there’re other choices except for those jobs in hot areas.

    In conclusion, it’s the high pressure that makes some individuals perform anti-social behaviors and the government should take action instantly.

    March 9, 2020 at 9:59 pm

    Score: 53.7

    Issues:

    1. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    March 26, 2020 at 3:47 pm

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    1018828034
    University: PKU
    Nationality: China
    March 26, 2020 at 3:50 pm

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    1018828034
    University: PKU
    Nationality: China
    March 26, 2020 at 4:08 pm

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