Our current way of life will have a negative impact on the next generations.
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August 26, 2020 at 9:43 pm
Disagree/agree? Our current way of life will have a negative impact on the next generations.
I disagree with the statement that our current way of life will have a negative impact on our next generations. I will explain my reasonings in two points: the statement is general and obscure, and the goods the next generation can receive from us are often ignored.
In the statement, it generally concluded the life of “us”, and makes assumptions of people’s life. Without any specific examples or detailed descriptions, only negative emotions can be expressed in this statement and it is not convincing or credible. For me, this topic is similar to a more frequently asked question, “Are each generation performing worse and worse?” The reference to a whole “generation” includes people of different kinds, and directly neglects the hard-working people trying to change their fate.People should not be defined by their generation, and I disagree with the message the statement is illustrating.
In addition, people often see the darker impacts one brings and ignored its greater benefits. The lifestyle that is most well-known for this generation is the addiction of phones, bad influences from social media, increased suicide rates, etc. Numerous articles criticize the impacts from technology, and list countless examples. However, by thinking positively, more goods can be discovered. The next generation will be able to have access to more resources, and they will not struggle under the annoyance of lack of references. Although children’s dreams of becoming social media influencers are often discouraged, it also means they have more career choices and more possibility to become what they want. And thanks to the internet, people become more acceptable toward different race, sexuality, and our next generation can be born under a more diversified environment.
To sum it up, our lifestyle is not bringing negative impacts to the next generation. Living in an environment surrounded by new inventions and technologies, even we are constantly adjusting ourselves to fit in. The things our next generation can inherit from us should not be defined, and while improving our world, we should all look forward for the better.
August 28, 2020 at 2:20 pmScore: ungraded
Issues:
- About 45% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
- About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
- Article errors
- Preposition errors
- Singular versus plural errors
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
August 30, 2020 at 4:29 pmRevision
I am afraid I have to disagree with the statement above. In my opinion, this statement is general and obscure, and it ignores all the benefits the next generation can receive from us.
In the statement, it generally concludes the life of “us”, and makes assumptions of people’s life. But without stating any specific examples or detailed descriptions, the statement is not convincing in any way. The statement is similar to another frequently asked question “Are each generation performing worse and worse?” One generation consists of people that can be drastically different. People have independent opinions and lifestyles. By categorizing people in their generation, the statement already proves its incredibility in the first place.
Many people might agree with the statement because they only see the darker impacts one brings but ignored its greater benefits. Our generation is often known for our addiction to phones, bad influences from social media, increased suicide rates, etc. Countless articles criticize the impacts from technologies. However, by thinking positively, more goods can be discovered. The next generation will have access to more resources and possibilities. Despite social media’s bad influences, it is a way for people to express their thoughts freely and receive advices. And internet’s advances make people more acceptable toward different race and sexuality. Our next generation can now be born under a more diversified environment.
To sum it up, our lifestyle is not bringing negative impacts to the next generation. Although we are far from providing a comfortable, careless free environment for the children, I believe all the hard work we pay now are contributing toward a safer and better world.
August 31, 2020 at 6:16 pmI am afraid I have to disagree with the statement above [ rephrase the statement ]. In my opinion, this statement is general and obscure, and it ignores all the benefits the next generation can receive from us.
In the statement, it[ unclear pronoun ] generally concludes the life of “us”[ unclear ], and[ grammatical error with the use of coordinating conjunction ] makes assumptions of people’s life. But without (stating any specific examples or detailed descriptions)[unclear ], the statement is not convincing in any way. The statement is similar to another frequently asked question “Are[ grammatical error ] each generation performing worse and worse?” One generation consists of people that can be drastically different. People have independent opinions and lifestyles. By categorizing people in their[ unclear pronoun ] generation, the statement already proves its incredibility in the first place.
Many people might agree with the statement because they only see the darker impacts[ word form error ] one brings but ignored its greater benefits. Our generation is often known for our addiction to phones, bad influences from social media, increased suicide rates, etc. Countless articles criticize the impacts from technologies. However, by thinking positively, more goods can be discovered. [ lack of transitory word ]The next generation will have access to more resources and possibilities. Despite social media’s bad influences[word form error ], it[unclear pronoun ] is a way for people to express their thoughts freely and receive advices[ word form error ]. And[ article error ] internet’s advances [word form error ]make people more acceptable[/tolerable ] toward different race and sexuality. Our next generation can now be born under a more diversified environment.
To sum it up, our lifestyle is not bringing negative impacts[word form error ] to the next generation. Although we are far from providing a comfortable, careless free environment for the children, I believe all the hard work we pay now are contributing toward a safer and better world.
