In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

  • tang
    University: zju
    Nationality: china
    September 12, 2020 at 2:06 am

    In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

    Nowadays, people are more willing to buy a house or apartment as their home instead of renting one in some parts of the world. Reasons generating are easy to identify, this essay is going to analyze why this is the case and how this will affect the development of the economy.

    First and foremost, many people think that owning a home is the guarantee of a stable life. People who have a flat or house do not have to worry about moving frequently. They can decorate their home with their favorite style and enjoy a high-quality life steadily.  Moreover, in some countries, the houses or apartment is related to the educational level that their children can receive. For example, if people have a flat near a primary school with a high level of education, their children will be more likely to enter this school. By contrast, those whose parents rent a home have no chance to study at this school. Especially in cities with unbalanced educational resources, people are more willing to own a home.

    In my opinion, this trend possibly harms the economy. As we have known, the price of houses is very high, which results in many young people who have brought a house or flat are burdened with high mortgages. Therefore, they may not have extra money to buy other things, which might lead to slower economic growth.

    To sum up, houses are closely related to people’s stability in life and educational resources, which leads to people’s desire to buy a house, although this may influence economic growth.

    September 12, 2020 at 2:41 am

     

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    tang
    University: zju
    Nationality: china
    September 12, 2020 at 3:09 am

    In some parts of the world, people are willing to buy a house or an apartment instead of renting one as their home. Reasons generating are easy to identify, this essay is going to analyze why this is the case and how this will affect the development of the economy.

    Foremost, many people think that owning a home is the guarantee of a stable life. People who have a flat or house do not have to worry about moving frequently. They can decorate their home with their favorite style and enjoy a high-quality life. Moreover, in some countries, the houses or apartment is related to the educational level that their children can receive. For example, if people have a flat near a primary school with a high level of education, their children will be more likely to enter this school. By contrast, those whose parents rent a home have no chance to study at this school. People are more willing to own a home, especially in cities with unbalanced educational resources.

    This trend may harm the economy. As we have known, the price of houses is very high. This results in many young people who have brought a house or flat are burdened with high mortgages. Hence, they may not have extra money to buy other things, which might lead to slower economic growth.
    To sum up, houses are related to people’s life stability and educational resources, so people desire to buy a house. However, this tendency may influence economic growth.

    September 23, 2020 at 9:46 pm

    In some parts of the world, people are willing to buy a house or an apartment instead of renting one as their home. (Reasons generating) [ unclear ] are easy to identify, [punctuation error  ]this essay is going to analyze why this is the case and how this will affect the development of the economy.[ Write meaningful content.  ]

    Foremost, many people think that owning a home (is the guarantee of)[replace it with one verb  ] a stable life. People who have a flat or house do not have to worry about moving frequently. They can decorate their home with their favorite style and enjoy a high-quality life. Moreover, in some countries, the houses or apartment [ unparalleled with houses ](is related to)[use a verb  ] [ use conditional writing ]the educational level that their children can receive. For example, if people have [gramatical error/subjunctive  ]a flat near a [highly rated  ]primary school with a high level of education, their children will[ grammatical error ] be more likely to enter this school. By contrast, those whose parents rent a home have no chance to study at this school[use conditional writing  ]. [ This explains why MANY people (conditional writing -MANY)  ]People (are more willing ) [use a verb  ]to own a home, (especially in cities with unbalanced educational resources)[ misplaced ].

    This trend may harm the economy. (As we have known)[redundant  ], the price of houses is very high. This results in [Soaring property price means that  ]many young people who have brought a house or flat are burdened with high mortgages. Hence, they may not have extra money to buy other things, which might [in turn could  ]lead to [ article error ]slower economic growth.

    To sum up, houses are related to people’s life stability and educational resources, so people desire to buy a house. However, this tendency may[negatively  ] influence economic growth.

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