Parents today are more involved in their children’s education than were parents in the past.

Score: 25.3

Issues:

1. About 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
2. About 40% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

Parents today are more involved in their children’s education than were parents in the past.

Score: ungraded

Nowadays, people hold a different view on the role of parents in children’s education. Some people say that parents show little interest in education. Others point out parents today are involved in children’s education. I agree with the latter. Parents nowadays pay more attention to education than the past. [ All meaningless and vague; you need to use your OWN language to write and write each sentence that contains concrete information. ]

First, parents realize the importance of education. [ Bad topic sentence. Write a topic sentence that well echoes the question being presented. ] They are more [lack comparison  ] willing to spend time studying with children instead of regarding it [unclear pronoun  ] as a waste of time. When I was in [missing article  ]fundamental school, for instance, I had problems with difficulty in understanding the [ article error ] biological knowledge especially the features of amphibians. [missing a transitory word  ]My mother captured a live frog and made it jump up and down. It [ unclear pronoun ]worked for me because I had no need to force myself to focus [ logical incompleteness/unclear ]. Meanwhile, it [unclear pronoun  ] triggered my interests [word form error  ] in biology. Without my parents’ parental efforts, I wouldn’t have access to get good grades. They played an indispensable role in my education.

Second, parents have more spare time to accompany with [ preposition error ]their children today. [ article error ]Development of society enhances the quality of life [ why? ]. Therefore, parents have no need to work all day to support the family. [ lost connection from the prior sentence ]More time is available for them to pay attention to their children [ redundant ]. With more income, parents can also provide space [unclear  ] for children to develop an interest. A (statistical form ) [wrong word  ]on the Internet shows that time spent on education [ unclear ]is twice as long as in 1980.

Third, teachers encourage parents to be concerned about children’s studying process. [off topic; you need to emphasize parents rather than teachers  ]Teachers recommend parents to communicate with their children more. The suggestion teachers propose remind parents, hence more and more parents follow teachers’ advice and begin to pay attention to their children. [redundant/no new information introduced  ]

In conclusion, parents are more involved in their children’s education. [repetition  ]More spared time, being aware of education’s significance, and suggestions from teachers contribute to the result [ what result? ].